Well, well well… Whaddya know?… coming off an impressive pay per view I was expecting a great Raw! What we got however was another case of The Rock bringing the product DOWN rather than helping it in any way, shape or form.
I mean shit, we legitimately didn’t get any PROPER in-ring action until half way through the show. Disbelieving as I was I even tweeted:
‘@crapminitweets Feel like I've missed something. Is it really 45 mins into Raw and we've had The Rock talking, Truth attack Morrison and Kharma attack maryse?’
‘@crapminitweets Oh, and American propaganda and 2 songs.’
It just shouldn’t be allowed to happen… Can you tell I thought this was an awful Raw?
Speaking of American propaganda, they really laid it on thick didn’t they? Flags, anthems, video packages, pledges of allegiance, I understand that the killing of Osama Bin Laden is a big deal and is a historic moment in the ‘war on terror.’ But with all joking aside, I am forced to scratch my head and question the glee of the American nation celebrating human slaughter. I mean, it’s just a circle of hatred really? No? After all, it was Martin Luther King who stated "I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy." It just seemed a little over the top to be honest. Although, it was great to see Lillian Garcia back on TV and she DID nail Star Spangled Banner… she should sing at the next superbowl. The video package they showed of the post 9/11 Smackdown brought back a flood of memories as well, that was a monumentous show.
Raw officially starts with The Rock enterting the arena, to a huge ovation. He stands at the entrance ramp for about 5 minutes, talks about Bin Laden for 5 minutes, he reads his own Wikipedia page for 5 minutes, calls Michael Cole a ‘hobbit’ for 5 minutes, spouts off catchphrases for 5 minutes and then gets sang to by some vato named Pitbull for 5 minutes… 30 fucking minutes JUST for The Rock to do absolutely nothing new… after all these weeks… after all these promises of making ‘tonight the best night in history’ etc. From someone who’s a huge fan of The Rock, I can’t condone giving him a 30-minute segment to open up the show. Vinnie Mac’s got dementia.
The Morrison and Truth saga continues. I’ll reiterate what I’ve said before; they need to make Truth a badass heel. In the promo’s he cuts he comes out of them looking unintentionally comedic due to his facial expressions and goofiness. If he can work on that, we’ll have a nice mid-card feud between these two. Just don’t let Morrison talk.
Still no real action as we cut to Kharma taking out Maryse. I’ll rub her better.
There was a Zack Ryder sighting! in a backstage segment at least. Shame, I think a Ryder and Rock interaction would have been pretty damn good. Sure as hell a lot better than the whole Santino, Khali and Hornswoggle skit. Lord have mercy. I did enjoy Rocky getting it on with Mae Young though, that’s been coming for years. Did I just say enjoy?
That was literally it for the first half of Raw. Shocking. Thankfully Cena and The Miz was a really nice televised match. The Miz looked absolutely crisp as a wrestler and seems to have figured out the WWE main event style. The match was easily better than their Wrestlemania 27 match and the crowd was HOT for it. There were some believable near falls and I even got pulled into the one where Miz kicked out of the Attitude Adjustment, I thought he was done and dusted right there. I definitely bought in to The Miz winning the title, but for once the Ref remembered he had a brain and reversed the decision. Nice swerve.
An OK match between Rey Mysterio/Kofi Kingston and Jack Swagger/Drew McIntyre. I tell you what, Mysterio and Kingston could be a nice little tag team if the WWE decided to ever ignite the division again. They’d certainly bring an excitement and importance that the division has been lacking for years. Apparently though, they’re going to revisit the Del Rio/Mysterio feud that started on Smackdown. Fair enough, it could be one of those feuds that never really goes away and they do have the ability to put on some really entertaining bouts.
We finally get a confrontation between Cena and The Rock in which Cena promises to hold onto the WWE title so it can be up for grabs in their WM 28 match. I shook my head. I’ve said it before, it DOESN’T NEED THE TITLE! The match transcends the title. Its an Icon vs Icon match, a marquee match, it does NOT and should NOT need the title thrown in there. Further, it would just guarantee the outcome of the match as a Cena win, because face it, The Rock is NOT coming back for good and thus he wont be winning the title.
The main event was Kane vs Mason Ryan. Really? Really!? It was an awful, awful, awful match. Ryan is greener than goose shit but he dominated the tag team champs single handedly, which shows how much they want to push the guy. For the love of god, don’t!
We close the show with another twenty minutes of The Rock getting his cock sucked. He makes the same promise for Wrestlemania 28 that he did for 27… not getting my hopes up then. Vince McMahon came out and seemed to show genuine emotion in thanking The Rock, I thought he was going to announce him for the hall of fame 2012, but alas we got a nice little video package. Props for that.
That’s really it, Raw suffered from - Yet another long, boring, drawn out 30-minutes to start the show. John Morrison and R-Truth continuing their feud of nothing but promos, match interference and sneak attacks. Lame, unfunny backstage segment with Santino, Hornswoggle and The Great Khali. Cheap, albeit understandable, ending to the Cena VS Miz match. Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston VS Jack Swagger & Drew McIntyre having all the potential in the world, but basically turning into a 10+ minute segment about another round of matches between Mysterio and Alberto Del Rio. Mason Ryan not being ready for the potential push that he's in line to get. Way, way, way, way, way too much Rock in one episode of Raw
Cena vs Miz saved the show slightly, other than that… it was just terrible. Now, excuse me while I get ready for all the hate from those who think The Rock’s segments have been ALL TIME BEST EVAAA!
Thanks for reading :D
Leave me your thoughts and feedback in the comments below, or on facebook or twitter @crapminitweets.
Big shout out to my main man @nick_bushell for allowing me to use his Sky, total legend and I thank you again.
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