Bitter taste - Randy Savage and this weeks shows.

(Quite a long one this week, haven’t written a blog for a while and got a lot to get off my chest.)

This week was mired with the news of ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage passing away due to a massive heart attack while he was driving his vehicle causing him to lose control.

I’m not going to pretend to be Savage’s biggest fan, nor am I going to pretend I’ve seen every single one of his match’s, well, because I haven’t. I started watching wrestling in around 1995/1996. I was limited to WCW Nitro and Thunder, which Channel 5 showed, WWF Heat and Pay Per Views on Channel 4 and Smackdown, Bottom Line, Velocity and Afterburn on Sky at my friends’ house. I’ve watched some of his classic match’s; Wrestlemania 3 vs Ricky Steamboat, vs Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania 5, vs The Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania 7… match’s like that. My biggest personal memories come from his time in WCW with the N.W.O, some of his hilarious promos and commentary and his very brief stint in TNA. With his peak being in the 80’s, fans who began watching during the Attitude Era and who were too young to have lived through the 80’s have little experience of what the Macho Man brought to the table. I can safely say he was a great performer and a great entertainer. Something I’ve always admired about Randy Savage is that unlike many other stars of the 80’s, he knew when to quit.

After departing from WWE in 1994, there have been rumours, whisper’s and hearsay’s regarding why he left. Savage is one of the men who are guaranteed a WWE Hall of Fame spot one day. Will it happen next year? Possibly. One thing’s for sure if Vince McMahon decides to put him in the Hall of Fame in 2012 people will say he is cashing in on his death. On the other hand, if he waits he’ll be called the scum of the earth.

Rest in Peace Randy Poffo.

Onto this week’s shows starting with Raw.

Another go home Raw before a PPV, another Raw with little in the way of in-ring action.

A rather random match between CM Punk and Kofi Kingston kicked off the ring action and Punk won. You’re telling me WWE couldn’t choose another opponent for Punk to go over rather than the UNITED STATES CHAMPION? They really do love making any other title except the WWE Title look like utter shit don’t they? The match also looked like it was put together by a five year old with Kofi gently falling to the mat apparently being enough to incapacitate him for Punk to deliver the GTS. Just dumb booking all round really.

I thought Kharma flicking Kelly Kelly on the swede was a quality touch. It echoed her vignette’s leading up to her debut and indicated that she has something bigger in store for the Barbie look alike. Remember when I said that Brie Bella was going to be a transitional champion? (Well I did look it up) Isn’t it just OBVIOUS that Kelly Kelly is going to come out victorious at Over the Limit? Honestly, if she doesn’t win, I’ll chew my left testicle off… God I hope she wins. Saying that however, I’d much rather see Kharma square off against Natalya, Beth Phoenix or re-ignite the great feud she had with Gail Kim in TNA.

We have another Rey Mysterio vs Alberto Del Rio match. I’ll be honest, despite the fact that they have the ability to put on a great match, I’m getting a little sick of seeing them square off. WWE could at least give us a few months off because it seems as if they’ve faced each other every other show since Del Rio’s debut. Give it a rest dammit!

It’s becoming a trend that the first hour of a Raw show has to be terrible the past few weeks and this week was no different, check out this tweet:

@crapminitweets Omg, this Raw. I don't think I can make it another hour without falling asleep. #tiredandthisrawsucks

It must have been bad, or maybe I was indeed just tired.

I noticed that someone needs to tell R-Truth that the magic stick that he holds in his hand when he talks PROJECTS his voice. There is no need to YELL and YELL as he talks into the microphone. Like I’ve said, WWE need to tone down the goofyness to R-Truth’s heel character, the way he talks just makes him seem like a retard… and he’ll never be a legit character in my eyes unless he can tone that down. I did like his new look however, I’m glad he lost that graffiti jacket.

King vs Cole contract signing. What can I say? This was a hot feud a few months ago and I was a big fan of the direction it was taking pre – Wrestlemania. After we were forced to watch Michael Cole try to wrestle and then WIN at Wrestlemania, it has gone completely down hill. While I’m a fan of Michael Cole as a heel commentator, I do NOT want to see him competing in matches. I can’t believe WWE haven’t learnt their lesson after the shambles of the Wrestlemania match, followed by clusterfuck of a ‘country whipping match.’ We’re now treated to a ‘Kiss My Foot Match.’ I don’t know about anyone else but I have a horrible feeling that due to the Athlete’s Foot angle Cole is going to win this match as well, continuing the feud. This feud needs to be put out of its misery.

Going back to my earlier sentiment, WHY did Punk go over the United States Champion? He’s been thrusted into a tag title match with Mason Ryan? Ok then. Mason Ryan is so green it’s unreal so I can see Punk carrying the majority of the match. Do I see them winning the titles? It’s really give or take, it would at least give the Nexus something to do but then again, Punk is too good to be wallowing down in the mid card with Batistwo.

WWE decided to skip the opportunity to pull the trigger on a Jack Swagger face turn and instead had him face Cena as The Miz’s chosen opponent. We saw a bit of a return of the ‘SuperCena’ booking here as he was dominated for the vast majority of the match, hit two moves and won. It continued after being beaten down with a led pipe, before hulking up and dominating The Miz and Riley. Please don’t return to this style of booking for Cena, WWE. It’s enough that you’ve copy and pasted the formula for Randy Orton in recent months, we don’t need to superchamps.

I liked the Miz’s promo at the end however; he promised to do something never before seen and it gave intrigue to the match. At the very least, it made this viewer want to see what The Miz pulls out. Lets be serious though, Cena’s winning.

Raw was pretty ‘meh’ for the most part, nothing really happened. What about Smackdown?

We kick off with a nice match between Christian and Sheamus, some nice back and forth action before we get an interference from Mark Henry: Buzz kill. Henry waddles to the ring and both he and Sheamus beat on Christian. Randy Orton comes out and  just stands there on the stage while Sheamus and Mark Henry are attacking Christian. Can't argue with that strategy, I guess. He has a World Title defense against Christian this weekend, so he might as well let Christian take just a little bit more of a beating before he makes the save… nice touch I thought.

Ladies and gentleman, prepare yourself for more… BOOKER T COMMENTARY HATRED. That man on commentary Christ a-fucking-live. I wouldn’t be surprised if he causes a world wide rapture one day. After a two-count for Christian, Booker said that proves how bad Christian wants to win. Why? Because he didn't get the win? Because he went for the pin in the first place? As opposed to what, all of those wrestlers who don't want to win, so they refuse to go for pins? Booker, you're a fucking idiot, and I hope you permanently lose your voice soon.

Brie pins Natalya cleanly and Kharma doesn’t come out. Seriously? Whatsupwitdat?

Ezekiel Jackson, the man of five powerslam’s, is on the mic. It’s pretty clear from the way he’s talking that the ‘What?’ chants have been edited out in post – production. This guy is just terrible on the stick. We get a Corre vs Kane, Show and Zeke match whereby the faces win, but the match went on way too long, considering how.. well.. limited most of the guys in the match are. Nice that they gave Zeke a Torture Rack finisher, though, even if he's going to end up killing someone in the move one day.

Another example of dumb booking in preparation for Over The Limit came in the form of Chavo Guerrero vs Daniel Bryan. While I don't want to see Daniel Bryan squashed, and would have booked someone else in the match if I were in charge, does Bryan have a match at Over The Limit? Does Chavo Guerrero? Chavo should have been booked to look strong going into the pay-per-view. It's not rocket science, shit.

I absolutely LOVED the Cody Rhodes/Ted Dibiase segment and match. Cody Rhodes is the current WWE MVP in terms of character development. He is mastering his current character, but just needs that big win and main event push… we could see big things in the future for Mr Rhodes. His paper bag gimmick is priceless (pun intended) and his manipulation and utilisation of Ted Dibiase when addressing the Corpus Christi crowd was great. Dibiase as Cody Rhodes sidekick could be a good thing for both men.

The Great Khali’s entrance music hit. I fast-forwarded.

Booking Randy Orton vs Mark Henry is always a risk. Randy Orton works a slow and methodical style, Mark Henry is just slow. Christian comes out, and he's returning the favor to Orton, just standing there on the stage while Sheamus and Henry beat Orton up in the ring. Fair play. I think the big news coming out of the main event is Randy Ortons cheer leader leap celebration on the dance that ensued. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? Seriously, if you missed it, check it out.

 

Weird.

Smackdown trumped Raw for WWE show of the week this week for sure.

Impact. The first ‘Impact Wrestling’ show since their name change and a set change that makes the Impact Zone look like TNA: Smackdown. I warn you now, there’s going to be a couple of spoilers here if you haven’t watched the new Impact, read on regardless… as I’m sure you’re interested in whether watching it will be worth your time or not.

First of all Impact Wrestling’s new tag line is ‘Wrestling Matters.’ Does it? Does it really? I’m going to do a bullet point list right here proving that this is utter bullshit.

-         Abyss defeats Kazarian for the X- Division Championship. A 300 pound man, is the X-Division champion. The X- Division put TNA on the map. It was a company that embraced smaller workers and made them the cornerstone of the company. The X-Division matches were amazing in the company’s early days. One can argue this is all just part of a storyline that brings the X-Division back to prominence after Hogan and Bischoff try to storyline destroy for a couple of months. However, if Hogan and Bischoff hadn’t destroyed it in the first place, this never would have had to happen. Further, this isn’t the way to go about it. Put some amazing X-Division matches on again. Bring Daniels, Samoa Joe and Styles back into the division and lets have some rematches from their past classics. Fuck me, a child could book this shit. The promo poster for Destination X has surfaced online recently. It features a six – sided ring and a tag line of ‘The future is the past.’  Lets hope it’s not a one time deal and TNA show us once again that the X-division is a cornerstone of the company.

-         Stop trying to ruin AJ Styles by having him take part in fucking pointless feuds. TNA has already ruined Samoa Joe. At one point, he was primed to be the next big thing in wrestling, and in one of the worst cases of not listening to your fans that I've ever seen, the company royally fucked up his push and ruined him. I don't think he'll ever reach legit main event status again, and it's a shame. TNA has tried to ruin AJ Styles on multiple occasions, but, as a sign of just how much the TNA fans love him, they continue rooting for him as if he were someone special. The company has him jobbing to Tommy Dreamer, for fuck's sake. Tommy Dreamer was a jobber in ECW, when he was in his 20s. Now he's 40 and we're supposed to believe he's going to be winning matches? Fuck outta here with that garbage. TNA tried to turn AJ Styles into Ric Flair Jr, and that certainly didn't work. They're always trying to do all these different things with AJ, instead of just letting him loose and having him work his ass off for people. It shows how lost and in their own little world the TNA writers are. They have no idea what they have in AJ Styles, and if they continue taking him for granted, he'll be on the WWE roster before you know it, and TNA fans will be out for blood at every Impact taping. Wise up, TNA.

-         Speaking of Samoa Joe, I have no idea what’s going on with him at the minute. One minute he’s face, one minute he’s heel and where the fuck did his feud with Crimson come from?

-         Matt Hardy and Eric Bischoff beat Generation Me, Bischoff gets the pin. I don’t even know where to begin here. Aren’t Gen Me supposed to be heel? Aren’t Gen Me supposed to be broken up? WHY is written all over this situation. Again, the X-Division are getting screwed in the storyline, but again there’s better ways to go about it then having Eric Fucking Bischoff go over one of the most promising young tag teams in the world. Uck.

-         Knockouts match is a main event. I like the job they’re doing with making Velvet Sky their top knockout. She’s over as hell! GOOD JOB! But, If I have to watch Angelina Love’s ugly, fucked up, botoxed to shit face blankly stare at people one more time. I’m going to punch the screen.

-         We have a main event of Rob Van Dam vs Kurt Angle GREAT MAIN EVENT… in 2001 maybe. PUSH your original talent. Fuck me.

-         We had nearly the same amount of talking we’ve had on Impact the past few months. Wrestling sure does matter TNA… Bullshit.

I desperately want TNA to succeed, don’t get me wrong. It's honestly not that difficult. There's so much talent on the TNA roster, and it's a crying shame that the current product is what it is. They have all the potential in the world to be pulling in Raw-like numbers if they really put their minds to it. If "wrestling matters", though, it would be nice if they actually tried to prove it, instead of just talking the talk and then giving us the same fucking routine that they've been giving us.

This blog has been bitter. This week’s wrestling shows have left nothing but a bitter taste in my mouth. We’ve come off the back of a very mediocre Raw, into another example of TNA promising change and delivering sweet fuck all, into a mediocre Smackdown. To add to that we’ve lost a wrestling great topping it all off with what could be a terribly Pay Per View in Over The Limit and it’s been a bit of an off week for Wrestling.

I really do dread to see Over The Limit’s buyrates…I hope I have something pleasant to write about. Now, if only I could find some ROH streams online… my sources have disappeared.

What were your thoughts on this week, leave me some feedback.

Lets Talk Wrestling

17 years... A little creative keyfabe writing.

I had a dream… it was stolen for me.

17 long years…

I started on the Canadian independent circuit. Everyone knows a wrestler has to pay their dues, and I paid them. Five years touring school gyms. Five years touring broken down bingo halls Five years touring dirty warehouses. Were they packed to the rafters? Like hell they were. Fifty people if we were lucky. Zero reaction. Still, I was pursuing a dream, a dream I had since a small child. Touring the indie’s wasn’t all bad, I gained valuable experience and a friend… no… more than that, a brother.

17 years…

My potential was recognised and I signed to a dream promotion. My head dizzy from ecstasy, I was too high on life to recognise my potential being squandered. A vampire? Lets be realistic, the brood wasn’t the highlight of my career.

17 years…

At last…a realisation of my true talent. Brothers in arms, Adam and me fought alongside each other once again. We became a history making tag team. I had captured gold before but capturing the tag titles with Adam felt like a real sense of accomplishment. We innovated and re-invented tag team wrestling. Scratch that, we set the bar for tag teams of the future. No one has topped our legendary TLC matches… tag teams seized to exist after us.

17 years…

My brother, apparently, was destined for greater things. Meanwhile, I’m stuck with a frustrating gimmick and wallowing in the mid card. I screamed, desperate at management to allow me to fulfil my potential. If only they let me. They pleaded with me to sign a new contract with them. I declined. I wanted to leave gracefully and with dignity while treating them with more respect than they deserved.

17 years…

A new chapter began, a fresh start. The ‘Instant Classic’ they called me…I felt appreciated. Many thought I was getting the recognition I deserved in TNA. Dixie Carter awarded me with a World title, or two. It felt sweet but left a bitter aftertaste in my throat.  As good as it felt to be on top, this wasn’t my dream. I was considered one of the best workers in the world and I had yet to achieve what I had set out to those long years ago in the independents. Meanwhile back in titan land, my brother was achieving stratospheric levels of success. I’d never let it known to him but, he only attained that success by fucking Lita. If he hadn’t fucked Lita and capitalised on the scandal by becoming ‘the Rated R Superstar,’ he’d be nothing.

17 years…

I enjoyed ample prosperity in the ‘second’ promotion but that’s where the problem lied, it was always going to be the ‘second’ promotion. I departed as misuse was again plaguing my career. Ex-WWE members started to clog up the roster and I didn’t want to become ‘just another face.’ I made my return to WWE on its ECW show. It was the ‘C’ show which led me to question their actions once again. I earned an ECW title reign. It meant nothing to me; it was a sham title on a sham reincarnation of a legendary promotion.

17 years…

To nobodies surprise, ECW was cancelled and I earned a call to the Raw roster. Raw… so long since I had been here… so much had changed… but not with my treatment. No matter how many brain cells I had to loose, how many bruises and the extent to which my body was battered, I could do nothing to be appreciated round here. Fans across the globe had been calling for me to be recognised as a main event performer for years, and I felt I deserved that… I wanted, NEEDED to achieve my dream. A torn pectoral would be a setback.

17 years…

Another return, this time from injury. Injury… a bittersweet word. Adam had been diagnosed with a career ending injury. Sorrow. Guilt. Sick pleasure. Three words I’d use to describe my feelings when I heard the news.

17 years…

I was finally given a WWE World Title shot. My dream was hanging, literally, inch’s above me. I climbed, exhausted, body aching, a bevy of emotion soaring round my clouded mind. Was this it? Had I finally achieved my dream? I looked out across the arena and saw the crowd; cheering, deliriously happy yet, I couldn’t hear them. My ears as if filled with water were not processing sound. My stomach lurched, twisted and knotted. I steadied myself and grasped the cool, solid gold belt. As I stared at my reward, relief spread across my body like a cool anaesthesia. My frustration, envy, jealousy all washed away with tears. After 17 years, my dream had finally been achieved and I was glad I could share that emotional moment with Adam.

2 days…

Two days.

It makes me sick. The company I’ve dedicated over a decade to. Blood, sweat, tears, injuries and flesh have been given to this company. Countless days and hours spent travelling on the road with no sleep. Performing night after night for thousands of fans across the globe. My talent has put over stars far less deserving than me into the main event. Two days is all I get to spend to live my dream?

This is me proclaiming, I won’t take it ANYMORE. Fuck the company for making Adam the star and not me. Fuck the fans for not voicing their opinion more. Especially fuck Randy Orton. If I catch wind of him playing any political mind games, then he’s over. I mean it, I will end his fucking career. He will be a draw regardless of his position; it is MY time to be the king. I have a new dream. A dream to prove the naysayer’s wrong, handle my career on my terms and show this company who just who the real draw is. Fuck Edge and Fuck Randy Orton.

17 years…

I have a dream. To become a nightmare.



Thanks for reading
I thought I'd have a little go at creating a potential storyline for a Christian heel turn by telling his story as a psychotic, frustrated Christian could possibly see it.


Bare in mind it's my first venture into something like this, so be kind :)


But definately leave feedback for me somewhere, twitter @crapminitweets
Facebook.com/richard.mcmaster3
or in the comments below


Lets. Talk. Wrestling!

Was Christian cheated or is it a sign of bigger things to come? Smackdown and Impact thoughts

Was Christian cheated or is it a sign of bigger things to come?

After coming across some spoilers (mainly thanks to Randy Orton tweeting it…dumbass) I was utterly SHOCKED and PISSED off to find out that a mere TWO DAYS… TWO FUCKING DAYS after Christian had finally ‘broken the glass ceiling’ and obtained the World Heavyweight title that he had dropped it to Randy Orton.

WWE, Are you serious!? I think it was obvious that Randy Orton was going to get the title eventually. As the golden boy and face of Smackdown, no one expected it to be a long time until he was hot-shotted the belt however, two days is utter bullshit and total blasphemy. I despise short title reigns, particularly World Title reigns… even Edge didn’t lose the title this quickly. I can’t believe that WWE didn’t trust Christian even a month to be the World Champion and maybe lose it at the Over The Limit ppv. Apparently not, it’s safe to say I was pissed.

At face value, it’s a fucked up situation. Christian is one hell of a worker, great on the mic and one of the most underrated talents in WWE history. You might argue that Christian isn’t a proven draw and Orton is. Invalid. The Miz is coming off one the longest WWE title reigns in recent history and he is by no means the highest drawing member of the Raw roster. John Cena is, and will probably be the most marketable superstar for years to come. Orton may shift merchandise but, does that mean that no one apart from proven draws such as Orton, Cena or Undertaker can be champion? NO! No it certainly doesn’t. They will be proven draws regardless of whether they’re champion or not and is not a valid reason for Christian dropping the title to Orton. If no one else gets the opportunity to be champion then WWE will never build new stars.

Perhaps politics are at play. It’s no secret that Orton has played his fair share of political mind games and jibbery joo in the past. Most recently, he was reportedly unhappy with his feud with The Miz and wanted a re-working of his feud leading into the Royal Rumble. Perhaps WWE gave him the title to appease him after being traded to the ‘B-Show.’ It’s not out of the question, but of course, I’m just speculating.

When viewing the new Smackdown roster, there isn’t a great deal of main event level competitors – Orton, Sheamus… that’s about it. If you’re WWE, you can’t be too picky with who you consider to be a main eventer if you’re roster is rather thin. You need to build someone up who has a great deal of experience and can handle a title reign… That is exactly what should have happened with Christian. Losing your title in your first defence a mere two days after you win it makes you look absolutely pathetic, ruins your credibility and destroys any chance of you looking like a great main event level talent. In my opinion, WWE absolutely screwed the pooch with Christian and I’m pissed about it.

I suppose I should look at the opposite side of the fence. If you look deeper than face value, then this may all be part of a storyline to make Christian a main event heel. I mean, he was visibly emotional when he won the title and rightfully so. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that he'd be upset. Upset that he lost the title. Upset that he wasn't prepared for a match with Randy Orton on Smackdown this week. Upset enough that he just might have to act on his emotions.

Going on to a heated feud with Randy Orton definitely helps his cause, much more than defending his World Title against the likes of Mark Henry and Sheamus would. After all, he did defeat Alberto Del Rio, not a former World Champion, so his win didn’t allow him to be seen as ‘legit’ in the eyes of many people. Smackdown is in dire need for a main event heel and a long feud with Orton may allow Christian to be twice as big as he is now.

There are potential problems with this feud though. With as dominant as Randy Orton has been booked to look in the last few months… beating an entire faction all by himself, dominating the feud week after week after week… does anyone really think that will change against Christian? If he can easily beat guys like Mason Ryan, David Otunga and Husky Harris, what would the sense be in losing to a guy considerably smaller than even Orton?

In the interest of fairness (McMahon reference) I suppose we’ve got to sit back and see what happens. If Christian is turned heel and he begins a meteoric rise to the top, then fair do’s. If he plummets back down to doing nothing in the mid-card… then its time to feel utterly fucked over. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not happy about this situation at all. How unhappy in the long term however, is yet to be determined.

I wanted to say something short about Impact. If you don’t know I’ve been with TNA since the beginning. There used to be a channel on Sky known as ‘The Wrestling Channel,’ needless to say as a huge pro wrestling fan it was probably my favourite channel on the whole of the subscription service. It showed ROH, CMLL, 1PW, New Japan, CZW and most importantly TNA… from the beginning. Yes that’s right, I had the privilege of watching this organisation grow and grow, from its weekly pay per views at the Nashville Asylum, to moving into the Impact Zone. The world X cup’s, the amazing feud between AJ Styles, Samoa Joe and Daniels and everything in between. After my 1 and a half year/ 2 year (I’m not really sure how long it was… I watched Wrestlemania’s and other odd bits… I was a bit burned out) hiatus from wrestling, I switched on TNA in around February of 2010 to find out that Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff had joined and were promising change.

After watching, waiting, it became clear that Hogan and Bischoff were just there to prolong their dead careers and massage their ego’s by being in front of the camera. A plethora of ex-WWE talent either past their peak of past the point of caring about the business began to dominant the storylines. Excellent original TNA talent barely got TV time and the ratings showed absolutely no sign of change. This is where I began to fall out of love with TNA Wrestling.

Fast forward to next week’s Impact. Mick Foley is revealed as the ‘Network’ member who has been calling the shots over Hogan and Bischoff in recent weeks. Ignoring the fact that this gives TNA ANOTHER authority figure, and makes absolutely no fucking sense (cos a wrestler gets to call the shots at TV networks) it is pretty interesting. Foley claims that TNA Impact will simply be known as ‘Impact Wrestling’ and will be all about wrestling. Wow! Wouldn’t that be great? The X-Division picked some beef with Bischoff aswell. Wow! Maybe we’ll get wrestling AND X-division prominence on Impact from now on. As with anything TNA does though, I wouldn’t get too excited. Impact has been nothing BUT talking in recent months. One recent episode had less than 15 minutes of in ring action on the entire show. That’s disgusting. Furthermore, as with a lot of things TNA does nowadays, it’s probably just a shot at WWE and there recent re-branding policy to be called simply ‘WWE’ to avoid the cliché of being purely a wrestling company. Sure enough, TNA bring back Chyna to ruin any excitement I had. Chyna in the ‘Attitude Era’ had a completely unique look. She has lost a ton of muscle mass since then. Moreover, she's been an absolute mess since leaving the WWE in 2001 (maybe 2002). She’s hit rock bottom a couple of times due to alcohol and drugs. Chyna wasn’t a great worker when she was in the WWE and it seems as if TNA are just bringing in another drug-addicted has-been to try and capitalise on fame they had nearly 10 years ago. It just sickens me. I hope to god TNA move forward with this wrestling initiative and prominently feature talent of the PRESENT, not the PAST.

Thanks for reading.

Feedback welcome on Twitter @crapminitweets and facebook.com/Richard.mcmaster3

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Cheers

Lets Talk Wrestling!

The Rock's Raw Birthday Party - Thoughts

Well, well well… Whaddya know?… coming off an impressive pay per view I was expecting a great Raw! What we got however was another case of The Rock bringing the product DOWN rather than helping it in any way, shape or form.

I mean shit, we legitimately didn’t get any PROPER in-ring action until half way through the show. Disbelieving as I was I even tweeted:

‘@crapminitweets Feel like I've missed something. Is it really 45 mins into Raw and we've had The Rock talking, Truth attack Morrison and Kharma attack maryse?’

‘@crapminitweets Oh, and American propaganda and 2 songs.’

It just shouldn’t be allowed to happen… Can you tell I thought this was an awful Raw?

Speaking of American propaganda, they really laid it on thick didn’t they? Flags, anthems, video packages, pledges of allegiance, I understand that the killing of Osama Bin Laden is a big deal and is a historic moment in the ‘war on terror.’ But with all joking aside, I am forced to scratch my head and question the glee of the American nation celebrating human slaughter. I mean, it’s just a circle of hatred really? No? After all, it was Martin Luther King who stated "I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy." It just seemed a little over the top to be honest. Although, it was great to see Lillian Garcia back on TV and she DID nail Star Spangled Banner… she should sing at the next superbowl. The video package they showed of the post 9/11 Smackdown brought back a flood of memories as well, that was a monumentous show.

Raw officially starts with The Rock enterting the arena, to a huge ovation. He stands at the entrance ramp for about 5 minutes, talks about Bin Laden for 5 minutes, he reads his own Wikipedia page for 5 minutes, calls Michael Cole a ‘hobbit’ for 5 minutes, spouts off catchphrases for 5 minutes and then gets sang to by some vato named Pitbull for 5 minutes… 30 fucking minutes JUST for The Rock to do absolutely nothing new… after all these weeks… after all these promises of making ‘tonight the best night in history’ etc. From someone who’s a huge fan of The Rock, I can’t condone giving him a 30-minute segment to open up the show. Vinnie Mac’s got dementia.

The Morrison and Truth saga continues. I’ll reiterate what I’ve said before; they need to make Truth a badass heel. In the promo’s he cuts he comes out of them looking unintentionally comedic due to his facial expressions and goofiness. If he can work on that, we’ll have a nice mid-card feud between these two. Just don’t let Morrison talk.

Still no real action as we cut to Kharma taking out Maryse. I’ll rub her better.

There was a Zack Ryder sighting! in a backstage segment at least. Shame, I think a Ryder and Rock interaction would have been pretty damn good. Sure as hell a lot better than the whole Santino, Khali and Hornswoggle skit. Lord have mercy. I did enjoy Rocky getting it on with Mae Young though, that’s been coming for years. Did I just say enjoy?

That was literally it for the first half of Raw. Shocking. Thankfully Cena and The Miz was a really nice televised match. The Miz looked absolutely crisp as a wrestler and seems to have figured out the WWE main event style. The match was easily better than their Wrestlemania 27 match and the crowd was HOT for it. There were some believable near falls and I even got pulled into the one where Miz kicked out of the Attitude Adjustment, I thought he was done and dusted right there. I definitely bought in to The Miz winning the title, but for once the Ref remembered he had a brain and reversed the decision. Nice swerve.

An OK match between Rey Mysterio/Kofi Kingston and Jack Swagger/Drew McIntyre. I tell you what, Mysterio and Kingston could be a nice little tag team if the WWE decided to ever ignite the division again. They’d certainly bring an excitement and importance that the division has been lacking for years. Apparently though, they’re going to revisit the Del Rio/Mysterio feud that started on Smackdown. Fair enough, it could be one of those feuds that never really goes away and they do have the ability to put on some really entertaining bouts.

We finally get a confrontation between Cena and The Rock in which Cena promises to hold onto the WWE title so it can be up for grabs in their WM 28 match. I shook my head. I’ve said it before, it DOESN’T NEED THE TITLE! The match transcends the title. Its an Icon vs Icon match, a marquee match, it does NOT and should NOT need the title thrown in there. Further, it would just guarantee the outcome of the match as a Cena win, because face it, The Rock is NOT coming back for good and thus he wont be winning the title.

The main event was Kane vs Mason Ryan. Really? Really!? It was an awful, awful, awful match. Ryan is greener than goose shit but he dominated the tag team champs single handedly, which shows how much they want to push the guy. For the love of god, don’t!

We close the show with another twenty minutes of The Rock getting his cock sucked. He makes the same promise for Wrestlemania 28 that he did for 27… not getting my hopes up then. Vince McMahon came out and seemed to show genuine emotion in thanking The Rock, I thought he was going to announce him for the hall of fame 2012, but alas we got a nice little video package. Props for that.

That’s really it, Raw suffered from - Yet another long, boring, drawn out 30-minutes to start the show. John Morrison and R-Truth continuing their feud of nothing but promos, match interference and sneak attacks. Lame, unfunny backstage segment with Santino, Hornswoggle and The Great Khali. Cheap, albeit understandable, ending to the Cena VS Miz match. Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston VS Jack Swagger & Drew McIntyre having all the potential in the world, but basically turning into a 10+ minute segment about another round of matches between Mysterio and Alberto Del Rio. Mason Ryan not being ready for the potential push that he's in line to get. Way, way, way, way, way too much Rock in one episode of Raw

Cena vs Miz saved the show slightly, other than that… it was just terrible. Now, excuse me while I get ready for all the hate from those who think The Rock’s segments have been ALL TIME BEST EVAAA!

Thanks for reading :D

Leave me your thoughts and feedback in the comments below, or on facebook or twitter @crapminitweets.

Big shout out to my main man @nick_bushell for allowing me to use his Sky, total legend and I thank you again.

Lets Talk Wrestling.

Extreme Rules review and thoughts!

Folks, Extreme Rules was a great show. It made Wrestlemania, the grandest stage of them all pale in comparison. There were some great matches and some smart booking, with few missteps. What’s more, this years pay per view seemed a damn sight more hardcore to me than some of the more recent gimmick matches WWE have put on. Some of the bumps the superstars took were brutal, and you could clearly see the bruises, cuts and effect it had on multiple superstars. Christian, Brodus Clay, CM Punk, Randy Orton and Alberto Del Rio were all deserving of their Extreme Rules paycheck, by a distance.

Lets take a look at the show, shall we?

Randy Orton defeats CM Punk in a Last Man Standing Match.

I could criticise WWE for putting this match first, due to it being more significant and important than say, the tag titles match. However, it served as a great ‘hot opener.’ A lot of the ‘extreme’ action came in the form of various Singapore canes being introduced. Singapore canes are an excellent choice of weapon in the PG era as they are worse when hit against the back or stomach as opposed to the head—they make a more sadistic crack. The very real welts on the bodies also add to the presentation of extreme. There was some great back and forth action with some nice looking spots. Orton gets the win with an RKO from the top rope… Which looked a bit shoddy. One of my legitimate gripes with Extreme Rules is the fact that Orton won. How one sided has this feud been? I can’t actually remember the last time CM Punk won. If the rumours of him being burnt out and wanting to leave the company are true, then I can understand him being de-pushed. However, if not, then WHY would you force him to become more frustrated by losing like a chump time after time ever since he came over to Monday night Raw. He has a well deserved spot in the upper echelons of WWE. I just hope this wasn’t the final nail in the coffin. Match wise however *** ½.

Kofi Kingston defeats Sheamus in a Table’s Match to become the NEW United States Championship.

I wasn’t at all surprised about this ‘bonus addition.’ Nor was I surprised that Kofi Kingston came out victorious. You can’t have the two mid – card titles on the Smackdown brand and either Sheamus or Wade Barrett had to be up for sacrifice in this match. Sheamus is either being used as a scapegoat for slightly decreased buyrates during his time as WWE champion (economic situation WWE?) or he pissed someone off backstage in a major way. Firstly, being buried by Triple H and bumped off the Wrestlemania card is one thing but, having a terrible title reign and losing in an announced match is a little too far. Poor guy. Anyway, this was another solid match and could have been even better if given a little more time to work with. I tell you what, that Kofi Kingston is one athletic mother, some fantastic spots by Kofi to avoid going through the table. Booker’s commentary continues to be horrible. As Josh Matthews tried to put over Kofi’s athleticism and intelligence, Booker just disagreed and continued his own brand of shitty commentary. Do your job, Booker. ***

After initial scepticism, R-Truth is turning into a pretty decent heel. The only downfall in my opinion is where he turns into a bit of a goof. A prime example being when he tried to spell in his promo with Todd Grisham… needless really.

Rey Mysterio defeats Cody Rhodes in a Fall’s Count Anywhere Match.

Ahhhhh. One of those matches where the superstars take each other all the way around the arena. I do love these matches and Mysterio and Rhodes put on a decent effort in this Fall’s Count Anywhere match. I particularly enjoyed the huge ‘Holy Shit’ chant that sparked as the stars grappled at a concession stand. WWE lost some of their sponsors for sure. At least the crowd were electric backstage, in the arena you would be forgiven for thinking the superstars were performing during a church service. Tampa, you sons of bitches. To everyone’s surprise Rey Mysterio gets the victory by spitting mist into the eyes of Cody. Somewhere, Tajiri is screaming ‘gimmick infringement!’ … as is The Great Muta.

I can see why Mysterio got the win here, he needs to look dominant going into his tenure on Raw, however, Cody Rhodes NEEDS his character to be established. So far, he’s done a tremendous job as the ‘disfigured’ heel but, he needs that momentum to take him to the main event scene. ***

Layla defeats Michelle McCool in a Loser Leaves WWE no DQ match.

These two Diva’s got a nice amount of time to work with and put on one of the better Diva’s matches in recent memory. Highlights included a belly to belly suplex by Michelle to Layla, and a vicious neck breaker by Layla. Layla eventually won with a simple pin reversal—she left Michelle crying in the ring while trying desperately to cry herself. **

Pretty much marked the fuck out when Kharma debuted. I thought she was tremendous as a TNA knockout and helped shape that division into, arguably, a better division than the WWE diva’s. Her debut was great, she made a statement and absolutely obliterated McCool. The former Awesome Kong has extremely expressive eyes that allow her to genuinely look like a lunatic.

Christian defeats Alberto Del Rio in a Ladder Match to become the NEW World Heavyweight Champion.

There was a nice amount of wrestling before the first ladder was involved – which is always nice to see. What followed was amazing spot after amazing spot. Some fantastic looking enzigiri’s by Del Rio along with a nasty looking scrape along the hip and back of Christian added to the element of desperation both superstars had at fulfilling their destinies. Del Rio took a huge bump coming from the top rope onto a ladder set up between the commentary table and ring apron. Brodus Clay got absolutely busted WIDE open, complete with a pool of blood on the floor and everything. Edge came out to even the odds against Del Rio’s entourage, and I thought the spear from Christian was a nice touch. It was a fantastic moment for me personally when Christian won the title. As a superstar of my childhood, as well as one of my favourite wrestler’s it was a great moment, accentuated by the genuine emotion Christian showed. Fantastic. **** ½

Big Show and Kane defeat Wade Barrett and Ezekiel Jackson in a Lumberjack Match for the Tag Team Titles.

Another title match! Hallelujah! Why was there only one at Wrestlemania!?!? Anyway, this was obviously a piss break match. Fairly entertaining I suppose but, the only thing I was interested in was trying to work out who half of the lumberjacks were. I didn’t recognise about three of them. Maybe they’ve had makeovers. What did concern me though was… WHERE THE FUCK WAS ZACK RYDER!? You’re telling me he can’t even get a spot as a lumberjack when his on/off tag partner Primo is out there? Ridiculous.

John Cena defeats The Miz and John Morrison in a Steel Cage Match to become the NEW WWE Champion.

This match had an excellent amount of time to work with and was a brilliant contest. I’m not sure it would have been half as entertaining if Morrison wasn’t thrown into the mix. I’m not knocking John Cena and The Miz’s abilities (just because Cena is BOOKED to have five power moves, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have more NOR does it equate to him being a good/bad wrestler) I just don’t feel like they have a great in-ring chemistry at the moment. The excitement factor was higher as people were escaping every two minutes and it was rather tense, as no one knew whether the WWE would actually have the guts to put the belt on Morrison. There was quite a significant botch however, when The Miz was double suplexed from the ropes he VERY NEARLY landed smack dab on his head. Luckily, I think Cena’s arm protected him for the most part, still… that could have ended nastily. There was a continuation of the tension between Truth and Morrison, when Truth put Morrison out for the rest of the match and escaped the cage in symbolic fashion – he would have won if he was still in the match. The match ended when Cena delivered an Attitude Adjustment to The Miz from the top rope, it was picture perfect! Its note worthy that the two biggest faces in the WWE got their win with their finisher from the top rope… ok maybe its not noteworthy… but it was interesting to me!

It shocked me that The Miz was the one who was pinned, as I was almost certain Morrison was in the match to be the one to lose. This would give Miz a legitimate grip at not being the one who was pinned in the match. Nevertheless, its an interesting move. ****

All in all, I thought Extreme Rules did extremely well with the card they had. I was thoroughly entertained by all of the matches and it kept me engaged throughout. The only downsides coming in Mysterio and Orton winning, which weren’t really necessary wins. I was convinced The Miz was coming away with the title and holding on until at least Over The Limit, where he would drop it to Cena.

I predict Cena’s next opponents will be Miz at Over the Limit, R-Truth at Capitol Punishment and Alberto Del Rio at Summerslam.

I wish I’d have bought Extreme Rules as my internet stream kept fucking up every so often. It was definitely worth buying.

Peeps and Cenation rejoice. The champs are here.

According to my reliable sources in the US goverment, Osama Bin Laden was a huge Mizfit. Allegedly, upon the conclusion to the steel cage match Bin Laden was heard muttering about 'Super-Cena' before screaming 'I'm Osama and i'm AWESOMMMMEEE' before shooting himself in the head. If the Cenation can take down the leader of Al Queda, it can take down you folks.

SPOTTED: Hulk Hogan continues his streak of shamless self promotion instead of concentrating on making TNA a great product.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kI8EUqbWdM

 

I AM A REAL AMERICAN! (A photo didn't work and kept crashing firefox :( )

Until the Raw blog tomorrow… Thanks for reading

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