(I apologise in advance, this isn’t very well written at all. But I think I make some valid points that are worth your time, so check it out!)
Capitol Punishment is here, fresh off the lowest bought PPV in a number of years. Looking at the card, from top to bottom it screams LOW NUMBERS! I mean when you have to push R-Truth to try and establish a new main eventer, something’s gone wrong.
May I just say that the Capitol Punishment set is pretty swank, I miss interesting PPV sets. Speaking of things I miss, the Spanish announce table is here! You just KNOW someone is going through that at some point during tonight’s proceedings.
We open up the show with Dolph Ziggler vs Kofi Kingston for the United States Championship!
Ziggler and Kingston have faced each other numerous times before, however, they always put on a quality bout. This one was no different. It was a solid ‘hot opener’ with the crowd lapping up every believable near fall. The match effectively made both men look strong. Kofi looked strong in defeat and Ziggler looked like a legit force, with plenty of counters and kick outs. WWE seemed to experiment with a crane camera angle in this match that surveyed the action in the ring, which was, erm, new.
I found the ending a little dodgy, Ziggler picked up the win after the referee stopped the match while the Sleeper Hold was applied. It was almost MMA style, rather than the typical Pro – Wrestling style of letting the arm flop down 3 times. Perhaps maybe it was a botch? Who knows! I just hope that Dolph Ziggler is given a chance to rebuild the shattered US title and bring back some interest to the once prestigious championship. Ziggler and Zack Ryder have been involved a lot with each other, maybe its time to turn Ryder face and give him a shot at Ziggler! Dolph could turn on Zack Ryder and it could lead to Ryder finally getting some real television time. Time will tell.
***
Winner and new United States Champion: Dolph Ziggler.
The Miz vs Alex Riley
I tell you what, Alex Riley is getting over quickly. He received a nice pop, albeit from his hometown crowd. It was a classic Mentor vs Student match. The Miz dominated most of the action, inflicting punishment on Riley for betraying him. I have to give props to Miz for delivering the best Scorpion Death Drop I’ve seen in years. WWE is getting dangerously close to imprinting the John Cena formula onto Riley. We already have Cena and Orton who do the outdated ‘hulking up’ at the end of the match and winning in a matter of a few moves.
Furthermore, I found it a bit tragic that The Miz was beaten by… a DDT. A move that is no longer synonymous with being a finishing manoeuvre defeated a former WWE champion. It’s just a continuous burial of The Miz at the minute that shouldn’t be happening. While I understand the company obviously see something in Alex Riley, they could go about it in a better way and is a clear indication that the company have no idea how to build a face at the moment.
** ½
Winner: Alex Riley.
We are introduced to a Barack Obama impersonator, more on him later.
Big Show vs Alberto Del Rio
The giant is ANGRY! But before he gets a real chance to exert his anger, Mark Henry shows up. I’m not going to lie, I have been bored to tears by the Del Rio/Big Show feud. Nothing about it has interested me and its clear from the silent crowd reactions, I’m not the only one. It’s no secret that Mark Henry is one of my least favourite wrestlers in history. I shudder to think what its going to be like having to sit through a Big Show vs Mark Henry feud. Slow lumbering matches, dull promo’s … uck.
Hey, at least the Spanish announce table got smashed in. However, absolutely nothing happened in the match, which basically served as storyline advancement. This should have taken place on Raw or Smackdown NOT a PPV that people are paying $45 in the US. The WWE wonders why buyrates are down, take a fucking look at what you put out on a show maybe?
*
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Wade Barrett vs Ezekiel Jackson for the Intercontinental Championship
Barrett’s promo before the match was the most entertaining thing he’s had to do in weeks! One thing that can be said about Barrett is he is extremely adept at cutting promos. He had a go at American officials, the national debt and even the American education system. He said in a few years, everyone will be speaking Chinese. Excellent heel work. USA chants aplenty, despite the fact that neither Barrett OR Jackson are from the country. Just great.
Big Zeke eventually came up with the win. That isn’t the direction I would go in just yet. The fans just aren’t buying into Jackson. He has a great look, but he is awful on the mic and robotic in the ring. In time he could develop into something great, but he isn’t ready for a title run at the moment. We got some filler with an in-ring interview and my point about him being terrible on the mic is reinforced!
During the match we got quite a big ‘We want Ryder – woo woo woo’ chant going. PUSH HIM!
** ½ stars.
Winner and NEW Intercontinental Champion: Ezekiel Jackson
Rey Mysterio vs CM Punk
At this point this is probably the one millionth time they’ve faced each other and there should have been a stipulation to add some excitement and intrigue to the match. Noticeably, CM Punk is getting a bigger face reaction than Mysterio, he’s sort of turned into the opposite of Cena recently.
I honestly don’t think creative know what to do with Rey Mysterio at the moment. He feuded with Alberto Del Rio on Smackdown, then it continued on Raw. He then had a mini feud with R-Truth before re-igniting a feud with CM Punk. Mysterio is stuck in a rut at the moment and creative don’t have a clue.
As for the match, I would have like to have seen it be a bit more athletic. CM Punk can fly around as well but he relied on submission and it lulled the crowd for a large portion of the match. It did liven up, eventually and turned into a nice back and forth match with some decent near falls. The match ended with a very nice counter in the GTS for the Punk win. Either WWE is trying to appease him into signing a new contract or they’re letting him go out on top. It will be very interesting to hear what he has to say on Monday Night Raw.
***
Winner: CM Punk.
Randy Orton vs Christian
Not as good as their encounter at Over The Limit, which was the shining match of the PPV. It was still a decent match, again though its one that I feel like I’ve seen 20 times before at this point. There are no opponents for Christian if he wins the title as a heel, besides… Randy Orton. Daniel Bryan isn’t over enough anymore, Sin Cara is nowhere near ready and there isn’t anyone else on Smackdown big enough for a title shot. Smackdown is in dire straits at the minute, so I don’t see Christian regaining the title any time soon. I do think Christian will get another match however, because of his foot being under the bottom rope on the 3-count. Perhaps they’re leading to a triple threat match with Sheamus included at the next Pay Per View.
*** ½ stars
Winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton.
Shane McMahon’s music was playing! I marked out for a couple of seconds, however it turns out it may be the theme song for Money In The Bank. A little odd.
The Bella Twins and some bloke named Keith Stone are out for a cheap plug and we go to the same video package we had opening the PPV… err what the fuck was the point in that?
Jack Swagger vs Evan Bourne
We get a token bonus match and the crowd couldn’t have cared less. The two had a quite a bit of build together, so God knows why this wasn’t an advertised match. Infact, I’d argue they had more build than Kofi Kingston vs Dolph Ziggler. On the subject of Evan Bourne, he is just as flashy as Sin Cara and about 10 times better at the high flying style (in the WWE) push Evan if Sin Cara continues to fail! The match was half decent, but in the end, no one really cared.
**
Winner: Evan Bourne
Someone thought it would be a fantastic idea to have a Barack Obama impersonator come out and spout off some one liners that again, no one seemed to give a flying fuck about. Someone else thought it would be fanatastic for Booker T to call the ‘president’ homie all the while forgetting to take his headset off when making his way to the ring. We then got a Barackarooni. That’s one for Botchamania 178.
If you take all the video packages, the Obama segments, the cheap plug for Keystone and you have well over 30 minutes of filler. There is absolutely no business for that amount of filler being on a PAY PER VIEW. Along with the storyline advancement match between ADR and Big Show and your pretty much looking at daylight robbery from the paying customers. Stop treating them like shit, WWE.
John Cena vs R-Truth for the WWE title.
Speaking of Pay Per View buyrates, honestly, it makes you think where WWE would be without John Cena. They’d probably be pushing 30,000 buys for this PPV without him. So take that haters.
Anyway, the writers have gone back to the ‘Super Cena’ formula HARD. In his time last year without the WWE title, Cena’s matches weren’t the same old, same old, and he was allowed to break loose of the formula. Although, you can’t argue that the formula AT LEAST allows Cena and the WWE to put over new main eventers and I think it worked in adding to R-Truths rising star last night. The pace of the match added to Truth’s character with the slow dissection of the champion telling the story of Truth’s frustration. In the end however, Cenation prevailed. R-Truth was bested by a kid throwing water in his face, I suppose it was a unique touch. The crowd were electric throughout the match with the usual duelling Cena chants, it really helps add excitement to the match. Fairly decent, but not great.
** ½ stars
Winner and STILL WWE champion: John Cena.
Overall, Capitol Punishment far exceeded my expectations to be honest. I was expecting terrible things, but what we got was something decent. That isn't going to change the fact that the buyrate number for the show probably will set some record lows. I just hope WWE really step up their game on the road to Summerslam. The Money In The Bank pay per view should attract more buys, however, I’m looking for some big things to happen on tomorrow nights Monday Night Raw. We’ll see.
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Leave me some feedback, and thanks a lot for reading.
