Wrestlemania 28 thoughts and review

I don’t think there much need for an introduction, it’s Wrestlemania 28! Here are my thoughts.

Daniel Bryan vs Sheamus

Well, what the fuck can I say? According to reports, WWE wanted to break the record for the shortest match at Wrestlemania and guess what? THEY DIDN’T EVEN BREAK IT! The World Heavyweight Championship, the second biggest title in all of wrestling, is treated like absolute trash. No wonder you’re not getting new superstars over if the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE is being devalued to that level. I understand that titles are props to enhance the talent that is wearing it, but they’re also a signifier for the prestige of your company and to disappoint and treat fans both in attendance and at home like shit by having this squash as the opening match? Disgusting. Now let me clarify before I continue, I have no problem with Sheamus being the champion and he’s probably overdue a run at the top, it is the manner with how things went down that pisses me off no end. Having being pushed off last year’s card Daniel Bryan and Sheamus had a lot to prove. However, whichever tool thought it’d be a good idea to book the match like this needs firing. If you listen to the crowd for the next two or three matches, all you’re getting are ‘Daniel Bryan’ and ‘yes’ chants. I really hope that someone in the back, preferably Vince McMahon, heard the chants and figured out that they’d made a fucking horrible mistake. Daniel Bryan is a heel that gets HEAT, he’s not a cool heel that sometimes gets face pops, he get’s BOO’D. Now, when that completely turns around and the live crowd couldn’t give a flying fuck about a Randy Orton match and instead chants for Daniel Bryan, something has gone amiss. I have seen some people try and put a positive spin on the match, claiming that this will advance Bryan’s storyline with AJ. Fuck that. Bryan was rapidly becoming the top heel in the entire WWE, nevermind just Smackdown, and to bury that momentum like this is just a terrible booking decision. Mark Henry and The Big Show couldn’t derail Daniel Bryan. Undertaker, HHH, Cena and The Rock kicked out of multiple finishers later in the night. Yet, Daniel Bryan goes down with one Brogue Kick? Bullshit. Another audible crowd chant, by the way.

0 stars

Winner and NEW World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus

Randy Orton vs Kane

Right, well here we go with the proper opening match. Both men are rather methodical and slow in their wrestling style, which led to a rather lacklustre opening between the two. The crowd were seemingly still pissed with the opening …kick… and responded accordingly. It really took until the middle of the match for any sort of excitement to occur with a couple of nice back and forth moves before Kane hit a chokeslam from the second rope for a clean win. Honestly, it was definitely unexpected. I’d argue the only reason for Kane to win here is if WWE are looking to re-build him into the demonic, monsteriffic, big red machine he once was. If not and we get a re-match at Extreme Rules which Randy Orton wins, it will have been for naught. The fact that this match wasn’t Kane vs Zack Ryder still makes absolutely no sense in the world of kayfabe, is Ryder supposed to let Kane’s attacks on him slide?

**

Winner: Kane

Cody Rhodes vs Big Show for the Intercontinental Championship

Again, another slow and methodical match. Rhodes worked on the knee’s and Big Show delivered the giant chops, everything you’d expect. Towards the end of the match, Show delivered a botched mid-air spear which hit Rhodes square in the balls. That had to hurt. As I predicted, WWE gave The Big Show his Wrestlemania moment and allows Rhodes to move on to bigger and better things. Not really much more to say on this one, it was everything I expected.

**

Winner and NEW Intercontinental Champion: The Big Show

Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos vs Beth Phoenix & Eve

We all knew it was going to be bad. It was. Sloppy execution of moves along with screams to make the ears bleed. At one point, Maria did the stink face on Eve and half of her make up ended up on Maria’s pants. It looked like she’d let a deuce drop, furthering the embarrassment of the divas. The one redeeming quality was Kelly Kelly’s flipping Lou Thesz press from the top rope. The pinfall came in the form of a ROLL UP, the divas finisher of doom! Another outstanding contest from all involved and a testament to womens wrestling everywhere.

*

Winners: Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos

Triple H vs The Undertaker /w Shawn Michaels as special referee inside Hell in a Cell

There are two sides to my thoughts of this match, as it really had me split. On the one hand, both men told an excellent story. The emotion levels were running high and the drama unfolded almost without a hitch. Shawn Michaels played his role perfectly, portraying the tension and the conflict in his decision making. The near pinfalls had me on the edge of my seat and when Michaels delivered sweet chin music to Taker, I thought the streak had been vanquished. The brutality of the weapon shots were, perversely, nice to see as it’s not often you seen physicality of that nature in the current era. At the end, when all three men walked out together and embraced on the entrance ramp, it really did feel like the end of an era and could’ve been the end of all three of their careers. However, these were my feelings in the moment. When you take a step back and really think about the match… it’s a different story.

Sure, wrestling is sometimes purely emotion but we’re looking at a match that lasted above the 30-minute mark and no more than 15 minutes of that could have been action. There was just so much stalling. Repeated chair shots, ask him, wait, wait, no, chair shots, ask him, wait, wait, no, chair shots… it was so contrived and seemed to drag on at points. When there was actually action taking place it worked, but people really don’t pay their money to see them talk to each other for ten minutes. Also, there was absolutely no necessity for the Hell In A Cell, sure it was used as a selling point but was only used in the match a couple of times. The match seemed to play out more like a Last Man Standing match and would have actually made more sense when you consider the storyline. Anyway, if it wasn’t for the stalling, the talking and the uselessness of the cell, this match would have been near perfect. I understand the necessity for some of the spots of chatter, but the sluggishness and stalling dragged the match down for me. Still, the raw emotion, story told by all three men and the fact that the match had me engrossed means that we still witnessed a good match.

***1/2

Winner: The Undertaker

Team Teddy vs Team Johnny

For all the build this match received, nothing happened. Booker T took the brunt of the punishment before it broke down into a messy clusterfuck. Highlights? A sweet, tandem triple flip over the top rope spot was timed to perfection and Mark Henry flinging Hornswoggle out of the way like a rag doll. The Miz got the victory over Ryder after the distraction from Eve. No surprise that Lauranitis is now the GM of both Raw and Smackdown, a heel authority figure works better.

Winners: Team Johnny

* 1/2

Following the match, in what should come as a surprise to absolutely nobody, Eve turned on Zack Ryder by kicking him in the nards. I flat out don’t get it. Surely the WWE doesn’t think it’s fans are that retarded? Is anybody supposed to believe that a man would return to any woman who openly admits that they’re using him and just Etch-a-Sketch his memory clean? I would have thought that the storyline was going to lead to either Ryder finally catching on that Eve was playing him or that Ryder was actually stringing Eve along and she would get her comeuppance and we could all move on. No, that’s not the case. What’s going to happen next? Is she going to tell him on Raw that she was actually trying to fondle his junk and he’ll be like HUR HUR OK, DERRRRP. It’s just another example of terrible booking. Ryder was building so much momentum for himself. His merchandise was some of the top selling and he was getting more and more over each week. Until WWE crushed his momentum with both the Kane storyline and now this storyline by making him look like an absolute doofus, it’s quickly turning people off. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE NEW STARS WWE?

CM Punk vs Chris Jericho for the WWE Championship

The opening minutes of this contest had me worried. I think they focussed a little too much on Jericho trying to get Punk disqualified. It would have been better if they’d have followed the formula of Jericho vs Michaels at Wrestlemania 19. Just out and out action from the get go. The spots with Jericho cowering in the corner could have been placed intermittently throughout the match, not all at once. However, the pace quickly picked up and the psychology between the two was superb. It easily ended up the best match in terms of wrestling quality on the night. The top rope counter Codebreaker was amazing and Punk screaming ‘Tap you son of a bitch!’ was the emotional highlight. Not quite the clinic I was hoping for, but a good effort nonetheless.

****

Winner and STILL WWE Champion: CM Punk

Somebody in the back thought it would be a good idea to have Brodus Clay come out with a bunch of people dressed as old women with inflatable asses and dance. Honestly, whoever in the back thinks this is funny is so out of touch it’s unbelievable. Its things like this that make wrestling fans embarrassed to admit they watch.

John Cena vs The Rock

The atmosphere for the match was everything I had hoped for. My TV speakers were shaking from the thunderous response. Shame about Eminem getting aids and coming out and spewing something about John Cena being an underdog before the match. Are you serious? John Cena is the furthest away from being an underdog possible. Dumb shit got boo’d for that. Good.

As for the match, being The Rock’s first singles match in 8 years it was never going to be a technical classic but the two put on a decent match. Basic back and forth offence was utilised well before they began to bust out signature moves. It could be argued that the match was sloppy in parts and it legitimately looked like they were trying to take each other’s heads off at points.

Plenty of near falls and finishing manoeuvres before the application of back and forth submission holds. Cena’s STF has never been pretty but The Rock’s sharpshooter is horrible. Bret Hart offered to show him how to apply it correctly, Rocky should have took that advice. The ending sequence played out nicely, Cena got cocky and The Rock took advantage of the mistake and got the clean win. I said it in my predictions column but this was absolutely the wrong decision. 

***

Winner: The Rock

The full-time workhorse top name in the WWE just lost to a guy who had his second match in seven years. WWE flushed the past eight years down the toilet. Fuck you John Cena, the attitude era was better. The Rock HAD to put over John Cena because Cena is going to be there the next 5-7 years carrying the company, whereas Rocky will swan off back to Hollywood. If you’ll notice, we didn’t have a handshake, we didn’t have a ‘you’re better’ type deal. That sets up the potential for a re-match. The Rock is booked for Raw tonight and something is DEFINITELY going down. Cena’s character could go a variety of ways. He could get depressed, turn manically enraged and start destroying people or just accept it and continue being the happy go lucky Cena we all know.  It could of course lead to the long time coming Cena heel turn, but I’m not getting my hopes up. If we are in fact heading for the rumoured trilogy of matches between the two, it's a little nightmarish at this point and the fact that we’ll have to endure another year of playground insults between the two is just too much to fathom.

To sum up, Wrestlemania 28 was incredibly mediocre. For an event that had so much potential it was let down by some piss poor booking decisions and it’s a god damn shame. WWE need a serious reshuffle in the creative department as some of the decisions leading up to and including Wrestlemania 28 have been nothing short of retarded.

If I was to grade it, I'd give it a D+ or a C-.

Thank’s for reading

What were your thoughts on Wrestlemania?

Wrestlemania 28 predictions

It has become cliché throughout the years but Wrestlemania really is the ‘grandaddy of them all.’ There’s nothing quite like it and as a wrestling fan, it’s the one night you just have to mark out during the live broadcast. The 28^th edition has an absolutely stacked card and as far as match quality it has the potential to be one of the best ever.

Lets have a look.

Team Johnny (David Otunga, Mark Henry, Drew McIntye, The Miz, Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger) vs Team Teddy (Santino Marella, Zack Ryder, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, The Great Khali and Booker T) winner becomes GM of both Raw and Smackdown

First of all, I appreciate the fact that everyone in this match up (more or less) has a logical reason for participating. A great shout with the addition of D-Mac and actually showing some continuity in the booking, with McIntrye harkening back to when he was embarrassing Teddy on a weekly basis last year in a recent interview. WWE has focussed a lot of energy on this match in recent weeks and deservedly so, especially considering the contest will decide the fate of the WWE. Sure, there are those that will complain about some of the participants being chosen over others and that the match is just a way of trying to fit as many superstars left off the card as possible into doing something. However from my vantage point, creative has succeeded in drumming up enough interest in what should be a nice undercard match. Of course, it all depends on the execution of the match and it does have the potential to be a complete clusterfuck, much like the 2-minute 8-man tag match at last year’s event. Let’s hope it doesn’t end up that way.

I’m expecting a win for Team Johnny. It’s been proven time and time again that a heel GM/Authority figure always works better than a face one. Sure, Teddy Long serves his purpose as a happy go lucky all round nice guy but John Lauranitis is able to garner a decent amount of heat. Reigning over both Raw and Smackdown will only bring him some more. Honestly, I don’t think the move would be permanent anyway, unless WWE decides it is time to officially end the brand split.

Winners: Team Johnny

Cody Rhodes (c) vs The Big Show for the Intercontinental Championship

The blooper packages that have aired as the build for this Wrestlemania showdown have been entertaining and the WWE have allowed Cody Rhodes to show some diversity by morphing from comedic mockery one minute, to vicious beat downs the next. However, this feud has been so lopsided in favour of Cody Rhodes that wrestling logic 101 dictates that The Big Show will walk out of Miami with the Intercontinental Championship. Indeed, I think that’s what will happen. Show has had his fair share of humiliations at Wrestlemania and I think the WWE will reward him for the past experimental matches they conducted with him as well as his recent seconds long World Title reign embarrassment. In fact, a win for Show would make sense. Rhodes has pretty much done nothing with the title since bringing back the old school white version and I think it’s time that both he and the title move on. As for the match, I expect a decent outing from the two. Rhodes has proved he can deliver a good match and Show has a habit of delivering when called upon. Everyone will be out to steal the show from the main events, I expect this to be no different.

Winner and NEW Intercontinental Champion: The Big Show

Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos vs Beth Phoenix & Eve

Well, how WWE missed the boat with the diva’s for Wrestlemania. The ‘Diva’s of Doom’ alliance between Beth and Natalya fizzled out before one of them had the chance to turn on the other. A Beth Phoenix vs Natalya match would have been a great addition to an already stacked card. As for a Beth Phoenix vs Kharma match, maybe we’ll get that next year. With Kharma’s stillborn pregnancy, no one could have expected her to be in an emotionally stable place to be on the road to Wrestlemania. Her outing at the Royal Rumble was more than enough.

The WWE opted instead to attempt to get mainstream media attention from Maria Menounos, the "Extra" host, appearing in a match. We’ve seen Maria Menounos wrestle for the WWE a couple of times before and for the minimal amount of training she will have received, she proved herself to be naturally athletic. In terms of the amount of training she has compared with the likes of Kelly Kelly, she’s probably a better worker than Princess Bimboid… But I digress. K2 vs Eve looks a dead cert following Wrestlemania and I imagine WWE will delay on that this Sunday by putting the celebrity over.

Winners: Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos

Randy Orton vs Kane

Probably the match that feels most ‘thrown together,’ Orton vs Kane hasn’t really peaked my interest like many of the other matches on the card. The feud has seemingly consisted of Kane’s initial attack on Orton followed by a series of RKO’s delivered on Kane. Pretty poor execution in my opinion. That’s not to say the match quality won’t be good, as Orton has really upped his game in the past year and Kane is always a reliable worker.

Both men have the potential to walk away as the winner. While Kane’s return to his masked persona hasn’t been great, one feels that if the WWE are serious about re-building Kane into the demonic monster he once was then he needs a big victory. What better way than to vanquish Orton at Wrestlemania? Alas, WWE loves them some Super Orton and I think that tips the scales in favour of the viper.

Winner: Randy Orton

Daniel Bryan (c) vs Sheamus for the World Heavyweight Championship

Daniel Bryan’s progression since winning the World Heavyweight Championship has been nothing short of exceptional. The way his character has developed into a smarmy, nefarious straight up bastard has been the highlight of Smackdown over the past couple of months. His manipulation of AJ is relatable to anyone who has seen that happen in their own lives and just makes you want to hate him that much more.

Sheamus has been on an unbelievable winning streak as of late. Since winning the Royal Rumble he has dominated everybody he’s been in the ring with. However, it’s interesting to note that the past four Rumble winners have been defeated in their subsequent match at Wrestlemania.

I think it’s a damn shame that there was been no mention of the fact that they were bumped off last year’s card and are now main eventing it. That was an important plot point missed and it should’ve been inserted somewhere, if only as a part of one promo and never mentioned again. It’s the greatest crux their storyline could possibly have.

I will say that I think AJ will be the cause of Bryan’s downfall…eventually. As far as ‘Mania is concerned, I think Bryan uses some dastardly heel tactics to once again escape with the title. Or maybe that’s what I’d like to believe. It’s obvious the WWE has wanted to push Sheamus to stars since his arrival and I could just as easily see Sheamus picking up the victory for his first face title run. For the sake of predictions however, lets go with Bryan. I just hope they’re given a nice amount of time to work with. YES! YES! YES!

Winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion: Daniel Bryan

CM Punk (c) vs Chris Jericho for the WWE Championship

Now here’s the match I’m looking forward to the most. Not because it features my favourite active wrestler (Y2J) but because it has the potential to be a fantastic technical spectacle. Each man does have a legitimate claim for the best in the world crown. While the feud has become more and more heated because of the facts that Jericho has revealed about Punk’s family. It’s been entertaining to watch. I do think it’s a bit of a shame that they haven’t had more time to go back and forth on the mic with one another but whatever.

I do think that CM Punk is winning here. Internet rumours have been swirling round that Jericho will be leaving once again to go on tour with Fozzy, whether they’re true or not will become apparent following Wrestlemania. There are no tour dates listed on Fozzy’s website, so take that for what you will. However, knowing the Internet the so-cal tour will be Download festival which they ARE playing. A HUGE weekend tour…yeah. I just think Wrestlemania will be an opportunity for Jericho to put the younger Punk over. A passing of the best in the world torch, if you will.

Winner and STILL WWE Champion: CM Punk

Triple H vs The Undertaker in a Hell In A Cell match w/ Shawn Michaels as the special referee

The Undertaker is synonymous with winning at Wrestlemania but to the WWE’s credit they’ve found ways over the last few years to build just a little doubt in the minds of the audience.

It has to be said, the build has been a little uninteresting at times, with each man essentially saying the same thing over and over again. However, little nuances in the storytelling have helped it survive. Shawn Michaels smirk after the Undertaker called him the better wrestler, HHH’s unwillingness to end the streak as Taker has become a brand to him now and strain placed upon the friendship between HBK and HHH has produced some excellent melodramatic moments.

As for the match, there’s no doubt in my mind that Undertaker is going to win, it’s just a matter of how? Will he overcome an onslaught from both Shawn Michaels and Triple H? Will Michaels turn on Triple H and set up a match for Wrestlemania 29? As adamant as Shawn is regarding his retirement being permanent, I’m predicting that Michaels costs Triple H after much violence, sweat and BLOOD. Yep, a bonus prediction right there. There will be blood!

Winner: The Undertaker

John Cena vs The Rock

It’s been called a lot of things. Once in a lifetime. The biggest match in Wrestlemania history. While I am excited for the match, especially the crowd reaction, some of the build up has been a giant waste of time. As a fan of John Cena and someone who grew up with The Rock, I’m afraid to say that nearly all of that wasted time and shitty build up has come from The Rock. From a 4-hour promotional package called Wrestlemania 27 last year, to tired catchphrases, notes on a wrist, what’s trending on Twitter, muffled lines and choking, The Rock has been owned by John Cena almost every week.

If WWE have The Rock win at Wrestlemania then the staff must be comprised of drunks. At the core of the feud is the fact that John Cena is performing day in and day out for the company while The Rock is a part time performer. If John Cena does not go over The Rock then it is akin to the WWE flushing the past eight years down the toilet. Fuck you John Cena, the attitude era was better, type deal. The Rock HAS to put over John Cena because Cena is going to be there the next 5-7 years carrying the company, whereas Rocky will swan off back to Hollywood. Make the right call WWE. Expect an ‘epic’ match with multiple near falls and finisher’s being kicked out of.

Winner: John Cena

So there we have it, Wrestlemania 28 predicted. Come back on Monday for a full review.

Thanks for reading.