Wednesday, 1 August 2012

Leeds Punk Scene (actual)


While we may be a long way removed from the punksplosion of 1977, the genre is still a subject of vast adoration by fans. Many aspects of the ethos in the original punk community may have been lost in the last 35 years but some, such as the DIY ethic, still remain. If punk, while no longer storming the charts, is still a valid genre then what does the bustling city of Leeds have to offer its fans?

Well, the truth is if you’re a militant punk rocker who would rather be caught dead then listen to punk with ‘pop’ before it, there isn’t a whole lot on offer. Santiagos Bar in The Grand Arcade, for instance, offers the most punk friendly clubnight in Leeds. A monthly night with a DIY approach, free entry and donation-based live shows, ‘Hello Bastards’ offers a request-friendly punk playlist featuring music you won’t hear anywhere else on a night out. It’s refreshing, unique and takes place in a bar with any spirit imaginable, guaranteeing a good time.

Elsewhere, the Pie Race festival has become a great punk all dayer that helps to showcase some of the best talent from across the UK. The first Pie Race Festival took place in October 2010 and was organised by Leeds punk band Acid Drop. Thought to be too good for just a one off, Pie Race 2 was organised in April 2011 with the third in November of the same year. A fourth event under the Pie Race banner was organised for St Patricks day of this year. While not as big as the huge Rebellion Festival that takes place in Blackpool, Pie Race is a fantastic festival for the local punk scene and is an aid in bringing unheard of talent to the forefront.

Now that is something that Leeds has going for it. A lot of the venues around the city are host to some fantastic gigs. Venues like The Cockpit, The Well, Brudenell Social and Empire share the same DIY and underground ethos as punk and offer unsigned and unheard talent a stage that allows them to get up and do it. In addition to unsigned talent, venues across Leeds host punk gigs with bands from across the globe, spanning all the subgenres of punk. If you are a local Leeds band playing any type of punk, there is a wide selection of promoters willing to get you a slot on one of their gigs and often times they’ll come to you to ask.

As I said, pop punk has a huge presence in Leeds. The legendary club night ‘Slam Dunk’ has been a successful Tuesday night staple at The Cockpit for 11 years. Slam Dunk plays a popular playlist of Pop Punk, Emo, Ska, Metal, Hardcore, Dubstep and Pop that has arguably been the catalyst for similar nights across the country. Such is the success of the club night that in 2006, Slam Dunk set up their own music festival. While initially set in Millenium Square, subsequent festivals have taken place around Leeds University Student Union at the various live event venues available in the establishment. In 2010, the festival expanded and established a secondary site at London’s Hatfield University. Slam Dunk Festival plays host to the best punk, pop punk, ska and hardcore bands both internationally and from the UK and is a real bright spot for the Leeds music scene.

In addition to Slam Dunk, The Cockpit hosts two monthly speciality nights that will be of interest to a general punk fan. ‘Pinky Swear’, held on the first Saturday of every month, plays a variety of pop punk tunes that fans of the genre would be delighted to hear. Meanwhile, on the third Saturday ‘Ska Rage’ delivers top quality ska punk, 2 tone and reggae.

The Well plays host to a new, laid back, free entry pop punk and metal night with pool and darts available on the night as well as an early start time of 8pm: Power Up! The Well has a good reputation for hosting stellar punk gigs and is an ideal venue for a night such as Power Up! Finally, Fuel takes place every Friday across the university calendar and delivers pop punk and party anthems. Hosted by Leeds Met Student Union, Fuel features an eclectic mix of music, alcohol, fire and a dancing troupe known as the Steelcats. The organisers make sure the night is unique by organising various theme nights across the year, including movie night, kids party, wild west etc. It amounts to an incredibly fun night full of pop punk anthems and good times.

If you’re a fan of the sub genres of punk, you’re in for a treat in Leeds. However, if you’re a punk purist you might be let down by the lack of offerings for nights out. Nevertheless, in terms of gigs there’s no room for disappointment as venues across Leeds play host to top quality punk acts from across the globe in addition to local talent. Punk’s dead? Well, it’s just surviving in Leeds.

Monday, 30 July 2012

What Lies In Store For CM Punk Tonight?


I began tweeting about how I was interested in what CM Punk's direction would be tonight, so I thought I'd write a blog 'bout it...

I’m incredibly interested in the direction WWE are going to take with CM Punk tonight.

Last year, Punk was molten hot and WWE doused the flames quicker than you could say “don’t screw this up.” Following his unnecessary loss to Triple H at Night of Champions, embarrassing feud with Kevin Nash and WWE’s continued fetish with putting Alberto Del Rio over to an audience that just doesn’t care, CM Punk’s momentum cooled. In addition, WWE decided that John Cena, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H and The Undertaker were all more important and worthy of screen time and main events over Punk and the WWE Title. That’s not to say his recent title run hasn’t been a great one. He’s had memorable feuds and match of the night/year candidates with Dolph Ziggler, Chris Jericho and Daniel Bryan.

Yet, its arguable that CM Punk has become everything he said he loathed last year. His edge has disappeared and his jokes have become almost as corny as John Cena’s. Hell, he hasn’t dropped a real ‘pipebomb’ since last year. However, it’s interesting to note that his upcoming DVD collection is hyped with the use of his ‘pipebombs’ and includes a synpnosis of him being “the most unabashed, outspoken and revolutionary champion in WWE history.” Really? That’s where tonight gets interesting

I thought that CM Punk had clearly turned heel on Raw 1000 by attacking The Rock. This was embellished by Jerry Lawler claiming that Punk had turned his back on the WWE Universe. However, Jim Ross doesn’t think he’s a villain and the more I step back and think about it, why should he be? When John Cena attacked The Rock from behind, did that make him a heel? No. Furthermore, with a DVD set coming out AND him being on the cover of the attitude era centric WWE ’13, it would probably be bad for business if he was a clear cut heel. So what will he be then?

I reckon, it’ll be a bit like last summer before he become a fully-fledged face. Tonight (hopefully) he’ll get some of his edge back by dropping a proper pipebomb, possibly on The Rock, John Cena, Vince McMahon and how he’s been overlooked and overshadowed. Not only that, but remember when he called for ‘revolution’ and a change to the WWE landscape? Well that happened for all of two minutes when himself, Daniel Bryan and Zack Ryder were all champions. Perhaps Kevin Nash’s calls on Twitter for Punk to lead a new version of the N.W.O actually have something behind them? I mean, it would certainly be a shock and he could bring in people in desperate need of some direction. Or, as rumoured last year he could bring in a group of Indy talents to run riot on the WWE. Although, with WWE’s recent attempts at creating stables (The Nexus, Corre) maybe that would be a bad idea.

Whatever happens, I can’t see CM Punk being a fully-fledged heel. Fuck, even when he attacked The Rock there were plenty of people cheering and applauding. I just hope to god that they make CM Punk as interesting as he can be. And for the love of fuck WWE, don’t screw it up again.

Thursday, 24 May 2012

Pro Wrestling: Five reasons why you should attend a live event


Pro wrestling. That unique hybrid genre that bends the conventions of melodrama, sporting competition, live entertainment, comedy, theatre and even sadomasochism. Despite its many complexities, pro wrestling has often been met with the ire of non-fans due to the fakery involved with the production of storylines and the attempt to dupe fans through pre-determined match ups. Nevertheless, chances are you’ve seen at least some wrestling action in your lifetime.

Indeed, as a lifelong pro wrestling fan with a knowledge of the ins and outs of the business I may be a little biased but, in my opinion, pro wrestling is one of the worlds greatest art forms. You haven’t really experienced the charm of the craft until you see it live and there’s ample opportunity to see pro wrestling events all year round. While the larger WWE and TNA promotions visit the UK maybe once or twice a year, there are numerous independent UK wrestling organisations nationwide that put on entertaining shows at a fraction of the cost of the two major companies. Honestly, I’m here to tell you that a wrestling show is a great idea for a social event. A day or night out at a show will be more than satisfying for a fan and will be a great experience for a non fan. So, whether you’re a fan who’s never been to a live event or a non-fan that is more than sceptical, here’s five reasons for you to consider attending a pro wrestling show.

Theatre

As I have mentioned, pro wrestling is a hybrid genre, yet, at the heart of a live show is melodramatic theatre. Wrestling is the ultimate battle of good vs evil and lets face it, who doesn’t like seeing the bad guy get his comeuppance? The theatre of live professional wrestling can act as an escapist activity whereby one can imagine ‘becoming’ the often oppressed ‘babyface’ and overcome the evil ‘heel.’ Or, you may indeed favour the bad guy, and that’s fine too. Unlike other sports, wrestling offers a vast array of characters to win your affection and in a live setting emotional investment in the characters is key. Whether you identify with CM Punk or John Cena or detest The Miz, the live experience fully immerses you in the theatre of pro wrestling and it is hard not to emotionally invest.

Sport

The ‘sports entertainment’ universe of pro wrestling creates a bridge between sport and melodrama. All too often, non-fans criticisms are aimed at the pre-determined nature of the match ups. To them I say… don’t be foolish. The superstars of the WWE perform night in and night out with no off-season, often working through incredible pain while being on the road, making various media and charity appearances in addition to training. Wrestlers do suffer injuries and the toll of taking bumps is often debilitating. Therefore, the athletic moves the wrestlers perform are truly spectacular to see in person. The technicality of pro wrestling is a joy to see live while at the other end of the spectrum, how often do you get to see people dive onto each other from great heights or clatter one another with steel chairs? As a live experience, I’d wager that nothing is more engrossing than a wrestling match and that is reason enough to attend a show.


Chanting

Where else but a pro wrestling event can you be shouting ‘What?’ one minute, ‘Yes! Yes! Yes!’ the next and round it all off with a chorus of ‘you suck.’ Live events have that unique atmosphere unlike any other product out there where fans are encouraged to voice their opinions and generally become part of the show themselves. At a large arena packed full of wrestling fans, the sheer volume coming from the crowd as they cheer, boo and chant is an experience in itself. That’s not to say audiences at small independent shows aren’t just as endearing as they can sometimes be more ‘anything goes,’ with amusing yet explicit chants breaking out. If you’re in a large group of friends, the freedom to chant and yell is somehow incredibly entertaining and definitely a merit for attending a pro wrestling event.

Community

Wrestling fans are genuinely some of the nicest people you will meet. Not only that, wrestling allows for a diverse range of opinions on the product. Yet, at a live event there is a great sense of community. The crowd are united together to bare witness to the event in what one might argue as a collective dismissal to what the naysayers say about their beloved product. That’s not to discourage a non-fan from attending, quite the opposite. It is hard to not to be enticed and charmed by the sense of togetherness.

Fun

Indeed, wrestling is all about FUN. Live wrestling allows you to immerse yourself in a world that is completely unique. The pomp, the pageantry, the intensity and the drama all create an atmosphere that should be experienced by wrestling fans or anyone just wanting a great night out. I hope I’ve persuaded you to give it a try. You know you want to…

Sunday, 15 April 2012

Forget wrestling, lets talk films: A look into my top 20 films. Part two.

Writer's note: Here we are with part two. If you haven't checked out part one here it is.

Star Wars Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi

The last of the original trilogy on my list is the probably the weakest of the three, but that’s not to say it isn’t a well-rounded and satisfying conclusive episode. My Dad was a big Star Wars fan and after he introduced me to the series, I’ve been a big fan ever since. With the introduction of the Ewok’s and of course Princess Leia in her slave outfit, the film includes many unforgettable moments. Furthermore, the triple stranded climax is masterful. It’s a shame the prequel trilogy couldn’t live up to the originals, hence why none of them are on the list. The prequels are still some of my favourite films but they just didn’t contain enough quality to warrant inclusion on this list.

Hot Fuzz

Following Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s big screen arrival in the genius first entry into the ‘Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy’ Shaun of the Dead, the follow up Hot Fuzz captured my imagination just that little bit further. Pegg and Frost’s chemistry is amazing to watch, and the ridiculousness of the narrative is consistently funny. Edgar Wright also has the ability to take the gloss of Hollywood and apply it to quintessentially English situations. So good.

Superbad

If American Pie was the blue print for the later 90s/early 00s then Superbad is the blue print for the late 00’s and beyond. Jonah Hill and Michael Cera put in fantastic performances in what is a pant wettingly funny comedy backed up by Christopher Mintz-Plasse (awesome name) as Fogell and Seth Rogan and Bill Hader as a hapless couple of cops. In spite of the continuous belly laughs, there is a distinct sense of pain running through Superbad as our loveable trio of geek best friends face the fear of leaving for college. A critically acclaimed modern great, Judd Apatow’s brand of gross out comedy has dominated ever since its release.


Borat

I’ll never forget the experience of seeing this at the cinema. The atmosphere was incredible. I’ve never known a film to get so many huge and consistent laughs. Sacha Baron – Cohen has melon-sized cajones for participating in the various activities, interviews and conversations that are featured in the film. The reactions of his unwitting victims are priceless and are what makes the film what it is. Simultaneously hilarious and cringe-inducing, full of ingenious bits that you just wanted to describe to your friends and then laugh all over again when you did.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl

A film based on a theme park ride? Who’d have known that the series would go on to feature some of the highest grossing films of all time. Pirates would be absolutely nothing without Johnny Depp, he simply steals the show. Captain Jack Sparrow is a magnificent creation. Eccentric and ecstatic, Johnny Depp’s character is a loveable self-publicising rogue that is refreshing and original in his fluidity and behaviour. The swash buckling action is rousing while the rest of the film is funny and spectacular and makes for a well rounded favourite of mine.

The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

Undoubtedly epic, Peter Jackson’s vision of Tolkiens universe is a masterpiece. The Fellowship of the Ring sets up the story perfectly, The Two Towers brought us the rousing battle of Helm’s Deep and the fascinating advancement of motion captured CG characters in Andy Serkis’ Gollum. Yet, it is the final chapter which shines as my favourite. Honestly, any of the films could have made this list but I wanted a little variation. Return of The King is majestic, moving and an astonishing piece of storytelling. The seamless transitions between each strand of the story are a masterstroke in a film that has A LOT to get through. The battle for Minas Tirith is spectacular and the entire cast put in monumental efforts. Though the film stays true to the book with 689 endings, you can’t say you don’t get emotional as that epic music plays Frodo off to the Undying Lands. One of the greatest tales of love, passion, kinship, hope, loss, betrayal, heartbreak, forgiveness, belief and faith in one another. ‘Not all tears are evil.’


Pulp Fiction

Pulp Fiction is ultra cool and ultra smart. It’s so supremely confident in it’s writing and direction and the cast exudes the confidence of the script’s witty dialogue amazingly well. So much has been written of the influence of its attack on the formulaic nature of Hollywood films. Tarantino blends the serious violence of American gangster movies, crime movies, and films noirs and mixes up with the wacky violence of cartoons, video games, Japanese animation and the fragmented story-telling structures of experimental films. The result was a pop culture phenomenon and one hell of a film.

American Pie 2

The continuation of the sex odyssey, American Pie 2 followed in the same vein of the first with the embarrassing situations placed upon the characters turning into comedy magic. The cinematic American Pie trilogy always has something that other comedies in the same vein lack: heart.  Coupled with another amazing soundtrack full of pop punk gems, the second slice of Pie is a fantastic teenage fantasy.

Falling Down

Again, another film that has made its way onto this list through study at university. D-Fens (Michael Douglas) and Prendergast (Robert Duvall) take us on a cross-town journey through the decline of the white male in society. The story told is both brash and subtle at the same time as the protagonists deal with the causes of the fall of the white male. It is a worrying and unnerving reflection of society, but one that is highly entertaining, engaging and recommended if this film has passed you by.

Toy Story 3

A landmark in animation that was beautiful and significant for its art-by- computer and a story of wit and humanity that translated to seemingly everyone alive, the original Toy Story made Pixar a profit machine. Toy Story is about much more than a group of plastic playthings, its about heart, a melancholy meditation on loss, mortality and love. While maintaining the fun, humour and action packed sequences of your typical Pixar movie, the underlying tone is a dark and crushing one of lost youth. An extremely satisfying conclusion to the best-animated movie series of all time.


And there we have it, thank you so much for reading. I hope you’ve enjoyed a little insight to my favourite films and I’ll be thrilled if I’ve introduced you to something new to check out. Leave me some feedback in the comments or

Twitter: @TWS_Mini 
or email me on rhcpdarkgnr@hotmail.com

Cheers!

Friday, 13 April 2012

Forget wrestling, lets talk films: A look into my top 20 films. Part one.

It goes without saying that of the abundance of movies ever made, one only has the time to watch but a minority of those created. Whittling down a list of favourite movies proves even more difficult. I must stress FAVOURITE movies. This is just my personal opinion. Of the following list, some are met with tremendous critical acclaim and some are met with the proverbial rotten tomatoes. Some movies are serious, designed to make the audience think. Other movies are designed primarily to amuse and entertain. The films on this list inspire a countless amount of emotions in me, and after all, isn’t that what a great film is really about?

Here, in no particular order, are the first 10 of my top 20 favourite films… so far. I’ll provide a mini overview, mini review and an incline into why each film is important to me. I hope I give you something new to check out or an urge to re-watch some of the films listed.

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

A film that was created on a budget of just $11 Million (tiny when you think of the magnitude of the thing), going onto become (when adjusted for inflation) the second highest grossing film in the USA and Canada and effectively one of the first block buster films, A New Hope is one of the most critically acclaimed and influential films of all time. It’s easy to see why. The cast is so loveable, the story so engaging and admit it, everyone wants to live in a galaxy far, far away. It was (and still is) the perfect introduction to the biggest movie franchise of all time. My favourite of the saga and my favourite film.

 The Matrix

The most significant science fiction blockbuster of the turn of the millennium. The Matrix was cool as fuck. Martial arts, sunglasses, guns, trench coats and an intriguing (if not slightly stolen) plot combined with some stunning visual effects make for a film that took pop culture by storm. Setting a new standard for cinematic fight scenes as well as the bullet time effect being taken to new heights, The Matrix has a lasting legacy. It even managed to make Keanu Reeves cool, if only briefly.

American Pie

One of those films that wasn’t met with overwhelming critical support upon its release. American Pie is crude, lewd and downright funny. The premise is simple; four boys make a pact to lose their virginity before high school ends. What follows is a cringetastic and hilarious hour and a half exploring the awkwardness of late teenage life... something we can all relate to. Not to mention it spawned a whole host of copy-cat films in the years following its release. With a kick-ass soundtrack and a cameo from Blink 182, this film is near and dear to my heart.

Garden State

Garden State is an independent film written by, directed by and starring Zach Braff. A whip-smart, angst ridden Andrew Largeman (Braff) is awoken from a Lithium haze when he returns home for the funeral of his mother. Cue an emotional and hilarious re-birth brought on by a kooky journey around town with his old friend Mark (Peter Sarsgaard) and new friend Sam (Natalie Portman). Zach Braff says of Garden State "I have this theory that your body goes through puberty in its teens, and the mind goes through puberty in your twenties. [Andrew] is dealing with issues that you are going through all the time going into your thirties. He's lost and lonesome, which is something I definitely felt in my twenties." The film definitely provides a wonderful trip through the minefield of being twenty – something. It’ll make you laugh, cry and absolutely warm the heart. A highly recommended piece of film, especially if you’re a fan of Scrubs.

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

The modern movie cliché is that a sequel should be ‘darker’. Blame The Empire Strikes Back, a crowd pleaser that dared to end with a devastating double-whammy (“I am your father”; “I love you”/ “I know”). Yet, it was everything it was supposed to be. More critically acclaimed than its predecessor, The Empire Strikes Back has so many iconic scenes and quotes it’s incredible. A true cinematic triumph. Don’t forget though, despite it’s darker tone the film bases some of its finest action sequences aboard a ship that constantly breaks down. Genius.

La Haine

La Haine (Hate) is a French story of three friends (one black, one Jewish and one Arabic) struggling to cope with the harsh realities of life in tough suburban Paris. Shot in an appropriately bleak black and white, the story follows Vinz (Vincent Cassel), Hubert (Hubert Kounde) and Saïd (Saïd Taghmaoui) in the 24 hours following riots in their harsh Parisienne suburb, during which their friend Abdel is beaten to within inches of his life by police and is intensive care as a result. The outcome is an explosion of scathing social commentary and dynamic storytelling. Delving into the generational, racial, and class divides of France, La Haine offers a fearless attack on the frontlines of power. Counting down 24 hours, Mathieu Kassovitz (director) never gives the illusion of a happy ending. This is a fantastic pastiche and a fatalistic account of society's decline. Though blisteringly intense at times, the film does have some welcome sporadic comic relief. Superbly acted and brilliantly executed, don’t let the fact that it is a subtitled film put you off from checking it out.

Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark

An ingenious adventure movie just about sums up Raiders of The Lost Ark. The first movie of the Indiana Jones franchise, Harrison Ford plays the lead role perfectly. It’s hard to imagine anyone else with the air of coolness that a character like Indy needs.
Influential to a range of future media, including the Tomb Raider and Uncharted games, Raiders of the Lost Ark is a gem. Another Lucas film in my favourites.

Terminator 2: Judgement Day

If Terminator was suspense, T2 is spectacle — Arnie’s killer cyborg becomes the best-ever combination surrogate dad and bodyguard, while CGI advancements marked the first use of natural human motion for a computer-generated character and the first partially computer-generated main character. Terminator 2 is an ass-kicking sci-fi action film that I watched over an over again as a pre-teen.

Predator

When you’ve picked at and (over) analysed Predator for a university course, you appreciate its deeper hidden meanings. It’s probably for that reason that the film places in my favourites list. On the surface, the film followers a bunch of ass kicking marines being stalked by a mysterious alien creature. Underneath, Predator is a study of the representation of masculinity as muscularity, power and the ability to survive… clearly exemplified through the casting of the film as well as the direction and narrative structure. Whatever, its still another great sci-fi action film starring Schwarzenegger added to the list.

Juno

Hey look, another indie film. An indie film that won an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay as well as nominations for Best Picture, Best Actress and Best Director no less. Juno just oozes irresistible charm and wit and Ellen Page’s portrayal of the hyper articulate, snarky modern teen is nothing short of exceptional. Aided by a funny and evocative script, Juno is one giant happy pill.


Well that just about does it for the first part of the list. I hope it was an interesting insight into one guy's opinion on films. Like I say, if I've encouraged you to check out something new or re-watch an old classic that'll make me more than happy if you let me know.

This is a two way street though, hit me up with some of your favourite films, expected or unexpected it'll be nice to hear. 

Thanks for reading, Part Two will be up tomorrow!

Monday, 2 April 2012

Wrestlemania 28 thoughts and review


I don’t think there much need for an introduction, it’s Wrestlemania 28! Here are my thoughts.

Daniel Bryan vs Sheamus

Well, what the fuck can I say? According to reports, WWE wanted to break the record for the shortest match at Wrestlemania and guess what? THEY DIDN’T EVEN BREAK IT! The World Heavyweight Championship, the second biggest title in all of wrestling, is treated like absolute trash. No wonder you’re not getting new superstars over if the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE is being devalued to that level. I understand that titles are props to enhance the talent that is wearing it, but they’re also a signifier for the prestige of your company and to disappoint and treat fans both in attendance and at home like shit by having this squash as the opening match? Disgusting. Now let me clarify before I continue, I have no problem with Sheamus being the champion and he’s probably overdue a run at the top, it is the manner with how things went down that pisses me off no end. Having being pushed off last year’s card Daniel Bryan and Sheamus had a lot to prove. However, whichever tool thought it’d be a good idea to book the match like this needs firing. If you listen to the crowd for the next two or three matches, all you’re getting are ‘Daniel Bryan’ and ‘yes’ chants. I really hope that someone in the back, preferably Vince McMahon, heard the chants and figured out that they’d made a fucking horrible mistake. Daniel Bryan is a heel that gets HEAT, he’s not a cool heel that sometimes gets face pops, he get’s BOO’D. Now, when that completely turns around and the live crowd couldn’t give a flying fuck about a Randy Orton match and instead chants for Daniel Bryan, something has gone amiss. I have seen some people try and put a positive spin on the match, claiming that this will advance Bryan’s storyline with AJ. Fuck that. Bryan was rapidly becoming the top heel in the entire WWE, nevermind just Smackdown, and to bury that momentum like this is just a terrible booking decision. Mark Henry and The Big Show couldn’t derail Daniel Bryan. Undertaker, HHH, Cena and The Rock kicked out of multiple finishers later in the night. Yet, Daniel Bryan goes down with one Brogue Kick? Bullshit. Another audible crowd chant, by the way.

0 stars

Winner and NEW World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus

Randy Orton vs Kane

Right, well here we go with the proper opening match. Both men are rather methodical and slow in their wrestling style, which led to a rather lacklustre opening between the two. The crowd were seemingly still pissed with the opening …kick… and responded accordingly. It really took until the middle of the match for any sort of excitement to occur with a couple of nice back and forth moves before Kane hit a chokeslam from the second rope for a clean win. Honestly, it was definitely unexpected. I’d argue the only reason for Kane to win here is if WWE are looking to re-build him into the demonic, monsteriffic, big red machine he once was. If not and we get a re-match at Extreme Rules which Randy Orton wins, it will have been for naught. The fact that this match wasn’t Kane vs Zack Ryder still makes absolutely no sense in the world of kayfabe, is Ryder supposed to let Kane’s attacks on him slide?

**

Winner: Kane

Cody Rhodes vs Big Show for the Intercontinental Championship

Again, another slow and methodical match. Rhodes worked on the knee’s and Big Show delivered the giant chops, everything you’d expect. Towards the end of the match, Show delivered a botched mid-air spear which hit Rhodes square in the balls. That had to hurt. As I predicted, WWE gave The Big Show his Wrestlemania moment and allows Rhodes to move on to bigger and better things. Not really much more to say on this one, it was everything I expected.

**

Winner and NEW Intercontinental Champion: The Big Show

Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos vs Beth Phoenix & Eve

We all knew it was going to be bad. It was. Sloppy execution of moves along with screams to make the ears bleed. At one point, Maria did the stink face on Eve and half of her make up ended up on Maria’s pants. It looked like she’d let a deuce drop, furthering the embarrassment of the divas. The one redeeming quality was Kelly Kelly’s flipping Lou Thesz press from the top rope. The pinfall came in the form of a ROLL UP, the divas finisher of doom! Another outstanding contest from all involved and a testament to womens wrestling everywhere.

*

Winners: Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos

Triple H vs The Undertaker /w Shawn Michaels as special referee inside Hell in a Cell

There are two sides to my thoughts of this match, as it really had me split. On the one hand, both men told an excellent story. The emotion levels were running high and the drama unfolded almost without a hitch. Shawn Michaels played his role perfectly, portraying the tension and the conflict in his decision making. The near pinfalls had me on the edge of my seat and when Michaels delivered sweet chin music to Taker, I thought the streak had been vanquished. The brutality of the weapon shots were, perversely, nice to see as it’s not often you seen physicality of that nature in the current era. At the end, when all three men walked out together and embraced on the entrance ramp, it really did feel like the end of an era and could’ve been the end of all three of their careers. However, these were my feelings in the moment. When you take a step back and really think about the match… it’s a different story.

Sure, wrestling is sometimes purely emotion but we’re looking at a match that lasted above the 30-minute mark and no more than 15 minutes of that could have been action. There was just so much stalling. Repeated chair shots, ask him, wait, wait, no, chair shots, ask him, wait, wait, no, chair shots… it was so contrived and seemed to drag on at points. When there was actually action taking place it worked, but people really don’t pay their money to see them talk to each other for ten minutes. Also, there was absolutely no necessity for the Hell In A Cell, sure it was used as a selling point but was only used in the match a couple of times. The match seemed to play out more like a Last Man Standing match and would have actually made more sense when you consider the storyline. Anyway, if it wasn’t for the stalling, the talking and the uselessness of the cell, this match would have been near perfect. I understand the necessity for some of the spots of chatter, but the sluggishness and stalling dragged the match down for me. Still, the raw emotion, story told by all three men and the fact that the match had me engrossed means that we still witnessed a good match.

***1/2

Winner: The Undertaker

Team Teddy vs Team Johnny

For all the build this match received, nothing happened. Booker T took the brunt of the punishment before it broke down into a messy clusterfuck. Highlights? A sweet, tandem triple flip over the top rope spot was timed to perfection and Mark Henry flinging Hornswoggle out of the way like a rag doll. The Miz got the victory over Ryder after the distraction from Eve. No surprise that Lauranitis is now the GM of both Raw and Smackdown, a heel authority figure works better.

Winners: Team Johnny

* 1/2

Following the match, in what should come as a surprise to absolutely nobody, Eve turned on Zack Ryder by kicking him in the nards. I flat out don’t get it. Surely the WWE doesn’t think it’s fans are that retarded? Is anybody supposed to believe that a man would return to any woman who openly admits that they’re using him and just Etch-a-Sketch his memory clean? I would have thought that the storyline was going to lead to either Ryder finally catching on that Eve was playing him or that Ryder was actually stringing Eve along and she would get her comeuppance and we could all move on. No, that’s not the case. What’s going to happen next? Is she going to tell him on Raw that she was actually trying to fondle his junk and he’ll be like HUR HUR OK, DERRRRP. It’s just another example of terrible booking. Ryder was building so much momentum for himself. His merchandise was some of the top selling and he was getting more and more over each week. Until WWE crushed his momentum with both the Kane storyline and now this storyline by making him look like an absolute doofus, it’s quickly turning people off. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE NEW STARS WWE?

CM Punk vs Chris Jericho for the WWE Championship

The opening minutes of this contest had me worried. I think they focussed a little too much on Jericho trying to get Punk disqualified. It would have been better if they’d have followed the formula of Jericho vs Michaels at Wrestlemania 19. Just out and out action from the get go. The spots with Jericho cowering in the corner could have been placed intermittently throughout the match, not all at once. However, the pace quickly picked up and the psychology between the two was superb. It easily ended up the best match in terms of wrestling quality on the night. The top rope counter Codebreaker was amazing and Punk screaming ‘Tap you son of a bitch!’ was the emotional highlight. Not quite the clinic I was hoping for, but a good effort nonetheless.

****

Winner and STILL WWE Champion: CM Punk

Somebody in the back thought it would be a good idea to have Brodus Clay come out with a bunch of people dressed as old women with inflatable asses and dance. Honestly, whoever in the back thinks this is funny is so out of touch it’s unbelievable. Its things like this that make wrestling fans embarrassed to admit they watch.

John Cena vs The Rock

The atmosphere for the match was everything I had hoped for. My TV speakers were shaking from the thunderous response. Shame about Eminem getting aids and coming out and spewing something about John Cena being an underdog before the match. Are you serious? John Cena is the furthest away from being an underdog possible. Dumb shit got boo’d for that. Good.

As for the match, being The Rock’s first singles match in 8 years it was never going to be a technical classic but the two put on a decent match. Basic back and forth offence was utilised well before they began to bust out signature moves. It could be argued that the match was sloppy in parts and it legitimately looked like they were trying to take each other’s heads off at points.

Plenty of near falls and finishing manoeuvres before the application of back and forth submission holds. Cena’s STF has never been pretty but The Rock’s sharpshooter is horrible. Bret Hart offered to show him how to apply it correctly, Rocky should have took that advice. The ending sequence played out nicely, Cena got cocky and The Rock took advantage of the mistake and got the clean win. I said it in my predictions column but this was absolutely the wrong decision. 

***
Winner: The Rock

The full-time workhorse top name in the WWE just lost to a guy who had his second match in seven years. WWE flushed the past eight years down the toilet. Fuck you John Cena, the attitude era was better. The Rock HAD to put over John Cena because Cena is going to be there the next 5-7 years carrying the company, whereas Rocky will swan off back to Hollywood. If you’ll notice, we didn’t have a handshake, we didn’t have a ‘you’re better’ type deal. That sets up the potential for a re-match. The Rock is booked for Raw tonight and something is DEFINITELY going down. Cena’s character could go a variety of ways. He could get depressed, turn manically enraged and start destroying people or just accept it and continue being the happy go lucky Cena we all know.  It could of course lead to the long time coming Cena heel turn, but I’m not getting my hopes up. If we are in fact heading for the rumoured trilogy of matches between the two, it's a little nightmarish at this point and the fact that we’ll have to endure another year of playground insults between the two is just too much to fathom.

To sum up, Wrestlemania 28 was incredibly mediocre. For an event that had so much potential it was let down by some piss poor booking decisions and it’s a god damn shame. WWE need a serious reshuffle in the creative department as some of the decisions leading up to and including Wrestlemania 28 have been nothing short of retarded.

If I was to grade it, I'd give it a D+ or a C-.

Thank’s for reading

What were your thoughts on Wrestlemania?

Friday, 30 March 2012

Wrestlemania 28 predictions


It has become cliché throughout the years but Wrestlemania really is the ‘grandaddy of them all.’ There’s nothing quite like it and as a wrestling fan, it’s the one night you just have to mark out during the live broadcast. The 28th edition has an absolutely stacked card and as far as match quality it has the potential to be one of the best ever.
Lets have a look.

Team Johnny (David Otunga, Mark Henry, Drew McIntye, The Miz, Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger) vs Team Teddy (Santino Marella, Zack Ryder, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, The Great Khali and Booker T) winner becomes GM of both Raw and Smackdown

First of all, I appreciate the fact that everyone in this match up (more or less) has a logical reason for participating. A great shout with the addition of D-Mac and actually showing some continuity in the booking, with McIntrye harkening back to when he was embarrassing Teddy on a weekly basis last year in a recent interview. WWE has focussed a lot of energy on this match in recent weeks and deservedly so, especially considering the contest will decide the fate of the WWE. Sure, there are those that will complain about some of the participants being chosen over others and that the match is just a way of trying to fit as many superstars left off the card as possible into doing something. However from my vantage point, creative has succeeded in drumming up enough interest in what should be a nice undercard match. Of course, it all depends on the execution of the match and it does have the potential to be a complete clusterfuck, much like the 2-minute 8-man tag match at last year’s event. Let’s hope it doesn’t end up that way.

I’m expecting a win for Team Johnny. It’s been proven time and time again that a heel GM/Authority figure always works better than a face one. Sure, Teddy Long serves his purpose as a happy go lucky all round nice guy but John Lauranitis is able to garner a decent amount of heat. Reigning over both Raw and Smackdown will only bring him some more. Honestly, I don’t think the move would be permanent anyway, unless WWE decides it is time to officially end the brand split.

Winners: Team Johnny


Cody Rhodes (c) vs The Big Show for the Intercontinental Championship

The blooper packages that have aired as the build for this Wrestlemania showdown have been entertaining and the WWE have allowed Cody Rhodes to show some diversity by morphing from comedic mockery one minute, to vicious beat downs the next. However, this feud has been so lopsided in favour of Cody Rhodes that wrestling logic 101 dictates that The Big Show will walk out of Miami with the Intercontinental Championship. Indeed, I think that’s what will happen. Show has had his fair share of humiliations at Wrestlemania and I think the WWE will reward him for the past experimental matches they conducted with him as well as his recent seconds long World Title reign embarrassment. In fact, a win for Show would make sense. Rhodes has pretty much done nothing with the title since bringing back the old school white version and I think it’s time that both he and the title move on. As for the match, I expect a decent outing from the two. Rhodes has proved he can deliver a good match and Show has a habit of delivering when called upon. Everyone will be out to steal the show from the main events, I expect this to be no different.


Winner and NEW Intercontinental Champion: The Big Show


Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos vs Beth Phoenix & Eve

Well, how WWE missed the boat with the diva’s for Wrestlemania. The ‘Diva’s of Doom’ alliance between Beth and Natalya fizzled out before one of them had the chance to turn on the other. A Beth Phoenix vs Natalya match would have been a great addition to an already stacked card. As for a Beth Phoenix vs Kharma match, maybe we’ll get that next year. With Kharma’s stillborn pregnancy, no one could have expected her to be in an emotionally stable place to be on the road to Wrestlemania. Her outing at the Royal Rumble was more than enough.

The WWE opted instead to attempt to get mainstream media attention from Maria Menounos, the "Extra" host, appearing in a match. We’ve seen Maria Menounos wrestle for the WWE a couple of times before and for the minimal amount of training she will have received, she proved herself to be naturally athletic. In terms of the amount of training she has compared with the likes of Kelly Kelly, she’s probably a better worker than Princess Bimboid… But I digress. K2 vs Eve looks a dead cert following Wrestlemania and I imagine WWE will delay on that this Sunday by putting the celebrity over.

Winners: Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos


Randy Orton vs Kane

Probably the match that feels most ‘thrown together,’ Orton vs Kane hasn’t really peaked my interest like many of the other matches on the card. The feud has seemingly consisted of Kane’s initial attack on Orton followed by a series of RKO’s delivered on Kane. Pretty poor execution in my opinion. That’s not to say the match quality won’t be good, as Orton has really upped his game in the past year and Kane is always a reliable worker.

Both men have the potential to walk away as the winner. While Kane’s return to his masked persona hasn’t been great, one feels that if the WWE are serious about re-building Kane into the demonic monster he once was then he needs a big victory. What better way than to vanquish Orton at Wrestlemania? Alas, WWE loves them some Super Orton and I think that tips the scales in favour of the viper.

Winner: Randy Orton


Daniel Bryan (c) vs Sheamus for the World Heavyweight Championship

Daniel Bryan’s progression since winning the World Heavyweight Championship has been nothing short of exceptional. The way his character has developed into a smarmy, nefarious straight up bastard has been the highlight of Smackdown over the past couple of months. His manipulation of AJ is relatable to anyone who has seen that happen in their own lives and just makes you want to hate him that much more.

Sheamus has been on an unbelievable winning streak as of late. Since winning the Royal Rumble he has dominated everybody he’s been in the ring with. However, it’s interesting to note that the past four Rumble winners have been defeated in their subsequent match at Wrestlemania.

I think it’s a damn shame that there was been no mention of the fact that they were bumped off last year’s card and are now main eventing it. That was an important plot point missed and it should’ve been inserted somewhere, if only as a part of one promo and never mentioned again. It’s the greatest crux their storyline could possibly have.

I will say that I think AJ will be the cause of Bryan’s downfall…eventually. As far as ‘Mania is concerned, I think Bryan uses some dastardly heel tactics to once again escape with the title. Or maybe that’s what I’d like to believe. It’s obvious the WWE has wanted to push Sheamus to stars since his arrival and I could just as easily see Sheamus picking up the victory for his first face title run. For the sake of predictions however, lets go with Bryan. I just hope they’re given a nice amount of time to work with. YES! YES! YES!

Winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion: Daniel Bryan


CM Punk (c) vs Chris Jericho for the WWE Championship

Now here’s the match I’m looking forward to the most. Not because it features my favourite active wrestler (Y2J) but because it has the potential to be a fantastic technical spectacle. Each man does have a legitimate claim for the best in the world crown. While the feud has become more and more heated because of the facts that Jericho has revealed about Punk’s family. It’s been entertaining to watch. I do think it’s a bit of a shame that they haven’t had more time to go back and forth on the mic with one another but whatever.

I do think that CM Punk is winning here. Internet rumours have been swirling round that Jericho will be leaving once again to go on tour with Fozzy, whether they’re true or not will become apparent following Wrestlemania. There are no tour dates listed on Fozzy’s website, so take that for what you will. However, knowing the Internet the so-cal tour will be Download festival which they ARE playing. A HUGE weekend tour…yeah. I just think Wrestlemania will be an opportunity for Jericho to put the younger Punk over. A passing of the best in the world torch, if you will.

Winner and STILL WWE Champion: CM Punk


Triple H vs The Undertaker in a Hell In A Cell match w/ Shawn Michaels as the special referee

The Undertaker is synonymous with winning at Wrestlemania but to the WWE’s credit they’ve found ways over the last few years to build just a little doubt in the minds of the audience.

It has to be said, the build has been a little uninteresting at times, with each man essentially saying the same thing over and over again. However, little nuances in the storytelling have helped it survive. Shawn Michaels smirk after the Undertaker called him the better wrestler, HHH’s unwillingness to end the streak as Taker has become a brand to him now and strain placed upon the friendship between HBK and HHH has produced some excellent melodramatic moments.

As for the match, there’s no doubt in my mind that Undertaker is going to win, it’s just a matter of how? Will he overcome an onslaught from both Shawn Michaels and Triple H? Will Michaels turn on Triple H and set up a match for Wrestlemania 29? As adamant as Shawn is regarding his retirement being permanent, I’m predicting that Michaels costs Triple H after much violence, sweat and BLOOD. Yep, a bonus prediction right there. There will be blood!

Winner: The Undertaker


John Cena vs The Rock

It’s been called a lot of things. Once in a lifetime. The biggest match in Wrestlemania history. While I am excited for the match, especially the crowd reaction, some of the build up has been a giant waste of time. As a fan of John Cena and someone who grew up with The Rock, I’m afraid to say that nearly all of that wasted time and shitty build up has come from The Rock. From a 4-hour promotional package called Wrestlemania 27 last year, to tired catchphrases, notes on a wrist, what’s trending on Twitter, muffled lines and choking, The Rock has been owned by John Cena almost every week.

If WWE have The Rock win at Wrestlemania then the staff must be comprised of drunks. At the core of the feud is the fact that John Cena is performing day in and day out for the company while The Rock is a part time performer. If John Cena does not go over The Rock then it is akin to the WWE flushing the past eight years down the toilet. Fuck you John Cena, the attitude era was better, type deal. The Rock HAS to put over John Cena because Cena is going to be there the next 5-7 years carrying the company, whereas Rocky will swan off back to Hollywood. Make the right call WWE. Expect an ‘epic’ match with multiple near falls and finisher’s being kicked out of.

Winner: John Cena


So there we have it, Wrestlemania 28 predicted. Come back on Monday for a full review.

Thanks for reading.