Man, I haven't written a blog for so long that I didn't even
have this site on the bookmarks of my new laptop. I've had a surreal 5 months and haven't written anywhere near
enough, but, with Wrestlemania
rolling around this Sunday I thought that should change.
Across the World Wide Interwebs, I've seen a mass of people
underwhelmed by the card we've been presented with for WWE's biggest show of
the year. It's fair to say on paper
it doesn't look like a Wrestlemania strength card. Too many rematches, a
lacklustre 'Road to Wrestlemania' and a lower card that has seemingly been
thrown together has left people with a sour taste going into Sunday. However,
we all know that when it comes to the WWE 'anything can happen' and we may just
get a surprisingly memorable PPV worthy of the inflated price tag come the
weekend. Without further ado, let's
check out the card.
Pre Show - The Miz vs
Wade Barrett for the Intercontinental Title
I have no idea why this couldn't be on the main card rather
than the following match, but hey ho, I guess that's what the Intercontinental
Title means to the WWE bookers at this point. It seems every new
Intercontinental champion says the same thing recently. Something along the
lines of "I'm going to bring prestige back to this title" before
fading away into obscurity in the weeks ahead. Wade Barrett was no different. As
for The Miz, his face turn has been a bit of a failure as his annoying facial
expressions and terrible attempts at being funny have done nothing to endear him
to the WWE universe. Ric Flair giving him his blessing to use the figure four
should be a sign that WWE aren't willing to give up on him yet and a run as a
face champion may make or break his current character.
Winner: The Miz
Tons of Funk and The
Funkadactyls vs Rhodes Scholars and The Bella Twins
Where to start? This is a throwaway match that Cody Rhodes
and Damien Sandow are too good for. I honestly think that the WWE only brought
in The Bella Twins to put The Funkadactyls, and in particularly Naomi, over.
Someone clearly sees something in her athletic ability and if they build a
divas division out of it, fine, I can deal with that. If one of the male
members of Tons of Funk gets the win over Rhodes Scholars, then fuck. Anyway, I
ain't wasting time with this one.
Winner: Rhodes
Scholars and The Bella Twins
Fandango vs Chris
Jericho
I'm not even sure how I feel about the Fandango character.
Some of his promos have taken up way
too much time, however, I liked what I saw on the 'go-home' Raw when he scored
Jericho's performance and showed some aggression to go with his flamboyant and braggadocios
character. I do have a pit in my stomach that says Jericho is going to have to
put over Fandango come Wrestlemania. It won't affect Jericho in any way and the
casual fan isn't going to say 'oh he sucks now because he lost' but, if Jericho
is going to just return again and again only to lose and put people over...
that doesn't sit well with me. Again,
another match that was thrown together in the most ridiculous of fashions. 'U
NO SAY MY NAYM RITE, I FITE U.' Nevertheless, this is Fandango's debut and
Vince McMahons pet project is getting the 'W.'
Winner: Fandango
Ryback vs Mark Henry
It's been so long since I last wrote an entry that I haven't
even discussed Ryback in any capacity. He's a monster, looks physically
imposing and it's good for WWE to have someone like that on their roster, even
with their new found love for Indy wrestlers. This is just a classic monster vs
monster match up that has been done to death in pro wrestling, yet still draws
due to the sheer spectacle. I've loved everything Mark Henry has done since his
heel turn and World Title run but I don't see him getting the win here. Ryback
has been pushed to the moon and since he's almost always taken the loss on PPV,
this will be his big redeeming win.
Winner: Ryback
Sheamus, The Big Show
& Randy Orton vs The Shield
Now, this is the first match of the night where I see
shenanigans coming into play. I'd love for there to be more to this feud as it
seems a little too simple and dull. I imagine the creative meeting went along
the lines of "oh, let's make 3 good guys face these 3 bad guys with no
real storyline." Not to mention the fact that Big Show was turned for the
1932030942039 time. Something has got to give in this match. Either one of the
face team turns heel during or after the match or another member of The Shield
is revealed. Either way, there hasn't been much of a spotlight put on this
match, especially considering The Shield was mixing it up in the main event not
too long ago. There just has to be something more, right? I'm going with a
Shield win.
Winner: The Shield
Team Hell No vs Dolph
Ziggler and Big E Langston for the World Tag Team Titles
Remember when WWE was trying to rebuild a tag division? That
seems a long distant memory now. The Usos are nowhere to be found, The Prime
Time Players aren't doing much of anything, Rhodes Scholars are in no man's
land and Primo & Epico? Wow. The tag team division IS Team Hell No and
they've had a good run together. They were incredibly entertaining when they
became a team as a result of the hilarious anger management segments with Dr
Shelby. Nonetheless, I feel they're time is numbered and the WWE needs to take
advantage of how over Daniel Bryan is and push him as a singles competitor once
again. Their opponents have been booked strangely over the past few months.
While Big E has been pushed as a monster, he's also had to clean up a lot of
Ziggler's mess recently. I still think
the WWE have no idea what they want to do with Ziggler. While he's in possession
of the Money In The Bank briefcase, he's had some wobbly match results and his
union with AJ was news for all of 10 minutes. Nevertheless, I think Dolphy and
Big E will get the win here resulting in Hell No turning on each other and
feuding for a short while.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler
and Big E Langston
Alberto Del Rio vs
Jack Swagger for the World Heavyweight Title
While the audience's attention has been on other matches,
this feud has flown nicely under the radar. While a lot of TV time has been
devoted to the feud, it still doesn't feel like a 'main event,' despite being
advertised as such. I'm a fan of Jack Swagger, and I like the direction his new
gimmick has taken him. While the xenophobic character is nothing new in pro
wrestling, it hasn't been done for a while so feels fresh. The addition of
Dutch Mantell as the mouthpiece 'Zeb Coulter' is a touch of brilliance. Del Rio
still brings in a mostly stone silent reaction, which is a shame because he and
Ricardo Rodriguez are doing a good job as latino babyfaces. The pressure is off
for these two at Wrestlemania and we could end up seeing one of the matches, if
not the match of the night. I don't
think it would be wise to rush Swagger to the title a second time, although I
could imagine a feud with Sheamus being right around the corner if they do.
Hard to predict this one...
Winner: Alberto Del
Rio
CM Punk vs The
Undertaker
Talk about a match that has stirred controversy. The
implementation of Paul Bearer's real life death (R.I.P) as a means of CM Punk
to generate heat has rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. To them people I
say, why? It's been reported that the Moody family were asked permission and
they gave their blessing. Do you think for one second that if they, The
Undertaker or Kane had a problem with the storyline that any of it would have
happened? No. What seems to have pushed peoples buttons the most was the end of
Raw where CM Punk symbolically scattered ashes across a fallen Undertaker. C'mon. The duelling 'C-M-Punk' and
'Un-der-ta-ker' chants were both loud and clear cut riiiiight up until the
moment Punk scattered the ashes then boom... total heel heat. That's his JOB.
If he isn't getting people to hate him then he isn't serving his purpose.
People are always clambering for a return to an edgier, 'attitude era' style
product, yet, when we do get it all
people do is bitch and moan. PEOPLE, the WWE did many things and run multiple
storylines that were much worse during that period in the company's history. As
for the match, I still don't see The Undertaker's streak coming to an end this
Sunday. I genuinely think that it will either last until his career comes to an
end OR Cena breaks it at Wrestlemania 30. I'm expecting CM Punk to dominate for
long periods of the match as The Undertaker's body continues to break down.
Definitely the match I'm invested in and looking forward to the most.
Winner: The
Undertaker
Triple H vs Brock
Lesnar in a No Holds Barred Match
So basically the exact same match, under the exact same
stipulation (cos No DQ is so different to No Holds Barred) as we got at
Summerslam. However this time, Triple H's career is on the line...OOOOOO. On
the one hand, a career ending match at Wrestlemania is how HHH's buddies, Ric
Flair and Shawn Michaels, ended their WWE in ring career and I imagine he'd
want to do the same. Do I think Brock Lesnar would be the one to do it? No. I
do think Lesnar will control the match before H makes the comeback and gets his
revenge for Summerslam. I don't care for this match, so whatever. Yawn.
Winner: Triple H
John Cena vs The Rock
for the WWE title.
I am infinitely more intrigued for this second match between
the two than the 'Once in a Lifetime' match last year. Why? Everything to do
with John Cena. I hate it when the WWE does this to me. Every year we pray for
a Cena heel turn or character change and the subtle hints he's been throwing
about the past few weeks have heightened that desire. His promo this past
Monday on Raw did inspire a bit of fantasy booking in me. He mentioned that if
he wins the title the 'Peoples Era will continue.' Which former authority
figure randomly returned on Smackdown last week and wanted to be in the corner
of The Rock at Wrestlemania? Which former authority figure used the phrase
'People Power?' Johnny Ace himself... John Laurinaitis. Surely Laurinaitis would want revenge for the spine buster and
peoples elbow he ate on Smackdown? To do this he goes to Cena to somehow
convince him that he can finally help him overcome The Rock and his obsession
with beating him if Cena can help him
regain some sort of power. It's a perfect heel turn that echoes Stone Cold
Steve Austin 'selling his soul' to Vince McMahon at Wrestlemania 17. Can you
imagine the reaction? It would generate so
much buzz for the WWE. Social media, message boards, the entire Internet would
blow up. Of course there's always the issue of the 'fruity pebbles' merchandise
and the ticket sales as well as the charity work that he does outside of the
ring taking effect, but that's a chance the WWE needs to take. Do I think
they'll take it? Hell no! It's nice to
dream though, yeah? I do think Cena will win, however, and I expect we'll have
a better match than last year.
Winner: John Cena
And that's that folks. I expect Wrestlemania will surpass my
low expectations and investment and be a pretty decent event when all is said
and done. There will be twists and turns throughout the show that should pique
the interest of viewers that aren't completely sold on the event. I hope you
enjoy the show and enjoyed reading through my thoughts and predictions!
Cheers!
Maybe this will happen more often.
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